Manuel
Noriega has returned to Panama after 22 years. He'd been all over the globe,
but finally concluded that Panama does, in fact, have the world's best acne
doctors.

More Mysterious Craters Found in Remote Siberian Region:  A local paper reports that two more craters of unknown origin have been spotted in Russia’s Siberia region, weeks after a similar-looking hole was found in the isolated northernmost area.  Area residents say its kind of frightening when the ground under your feet has nearly as many craters as Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega’s face.

Broken Water Pipe Floods Sunset Blvd and UCLA Campus:  City officials say massive water line break sent a geyser shooting 30 feet in the air, flooding parts of Sunset Boulevard and UCLA with 20 million gallons of water before it could be shut off.  The damage was so pervasive, some are calling it this generation’s “Watergate.”

One Officer Issued 80% of All Pot Tickets in Seattle:  A Seattle police officer has been reassigned after a review found that he wrote about 80 percent of all the marijuana tickets issued in the entire city during the first half of 2014.  Sounds like this guy must have been Seattle’s “chief petty officer.”

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