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Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donald-Eating-Fri... 612w" sizes="(max-width: 287px) 100vw, 287px" />Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs:  Because the White House kitchen staff often couldn’t match the satisfaction of a quarter-pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller was frequently dispatched to head down to the New York Avenue McDonald’s on a stealth fast food run.  So, he has the best chefs in the navy at his disposal – ready to prepare anything he wants 24/7 – and he still prefers McDonald’s?  This poses the question, which comes first – the heart attack or the impeachment?  Luckily for Trump, he’s still gonna have great health insurance – even after the Republicans take it away from the rest of us.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-1... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery.jpg 1183w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Oldest Known Pottery Found in China:  Archaeologists say pottery fragments found in a south China cave have been confirmed to be 20,000 years old, making them the oldest known pottery in the world.  Scientists caution that while the pottery is historically significant, it shouldn’t be considered microwave safe.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Tampon-Bombers.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Couple Tries to Blow Up Vehicle with Tampons:  A Pennsylvania couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief for attempting to blow up a Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them.  Police warn that had the couple been successful, the situation could have quickly turned into a blood-bath.

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The post Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Mysterious Cavity Discovered Deep Within Great Pyramid

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Cavity-in-Great-P... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Cavity-in-Great-P... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Cavity-in-Great-P... 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Mysterious Cavity Discovered Deep Within Great Pyramid:  Archaeologists report they’ve just uncovered a mysterious cavity hidden deep inside the Great Pyramid of Giza, the oldest of the seven wonders of the ancient world.

 

While I’m no archeologist, my first guess would be its part of the Pyramid’s creamy-smooth, chocolatey core.  Laugh if you want, but I think that makes a hell of a lot more sense than Ben Carson’s “grain silos.”  But your guess is as good as mine.  As far as we know, it could have been where the Pharaoh stashed all his dirty magazines.  Hell, they may even find my lost remote somewhere in there.

 

All I can tell you is this – my dentist recently showed me a similar image of a cavity, only this time there were no hidden treasures – just his bill for $275.  In fact, word has it local dentists say if the cavity runs deep enough, they may have to do a root canal.  And that would probably mean the pyramid would also need a new crown as well.  Let’s hope they had insurance.

 

But, of course – all this is simply speculation.  We can never know anything for sure until a trained TSA agent does a full cavity search.  That said, it doesn’t really matter what they find in there anyway, because in a couple of years – you can just bet this cavity is gonna be home to a brand new Starbucks, McDonald’s or a 7-Eleven convenience store.  Not even the Pharaoh’s can stop commerce.

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The post Mysterious Cavity Discovered Deep Within Great Pyramid appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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