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Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Earths-Magnetic-F... 438w" sizes="(max-width: 248px) 100vw, 248px" />Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip:  Scientists say the Earth’s magnetic poles appear to be ready to flip for the first time in 780,000 years, which could allow in lethal levels of radiation and cause a cascading mass blackout of the power grid – ultimately rendering areas of the planet uninhabitable.

 

Good grief, if the Earth’s magnetic fields do get reversed, does that mean we’ll all need to retrain our toilets?  I’m just asking for a friend.  And will the Earth actually flip, or will it flop?  Before you laugh all this off as complete nonsense, wasn’t this the same message they gave the inhabitants of Krypton?  Think about that my friend.  I mean, if you think your GPS gets you lost now…

 

One thing’s for sure, if the Earth does flip – Trump will claim credit for it.  Either that, or if it doesn’t work out so well, he’ll blame it on the Mexicans.  I mean, he’s already begun telling supporters that “true north was nothing but a big fat lie.”  Personally, I think there’s pretty good evidence that Trump may have already flipped.  On a positive note, in an attempt to offset any possible polarity reversals, politicians in Washington have already begun talking backwards.

 

But thinking about how parts the Earth may eventually become uninhabitable, makes me realize that communities like Cleveland were actually way ahead of their time.  I’m from that area originally, and it kind of makes me proud.  That said, there are, of course, gonna be some negatives – like we’d all better get used to the idea of walking on our ceilings.  And needing to use a mirror to read our compasses.  And of course, Kim and Kayne will inevitably have to rename their first child which they called North West.

 

And while I’m no scientist, I think this whole mess could be easily avoided.  I mean, if the Earth is really bipolar – why not just send it to a therapist or give it some lithium before its too late?  Isn’t it time we start thinking about just what the hell is Keith Richards supposed to do after everybody else is gone from the face of the Earth?

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The post Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Blames Cell Service for Failure to Call Mexico

Trump Blames Cell Service for Failure to Call Mexico:  President Donald Trump has claimed the reason he did not reach out to Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto immediately after the country’s huge, devastating earthquake was that there was no cellphone reception in Mexico.  Probably just didn’t wanna pay roaming charges.  Too bad he didn’t call though, because word has it that Mexico has finally decided they’ll pay for Trump’s – impeachment.

 

Encyclopedia Britannica To Cease Print Edition:  For the first time in 244 years, the world’s most famous Encyclopedia Britannica has announced that it will no longer be making physical copies of its flagship reference books, switching to an all online service.  And in an odd twist, Wikipedia announced they will be shutting down their website to concentrate on a hardcover version.

 

Ice Pick Used to Kill Trotsky Emerges After Decades:  After disappearing from sight for more than 40 years, the bloodstained ice pick used by Stalinist assassin Jacques Mornard to kill Leon Trotsky, will soon go on public display at Washington’s International Spy Museum.  Some may question whether or not the blood on the weapon is really Trotsky’s, but the museum curator told them “hey, don’t get picky.”

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The post Trump Blames Cell Service for Failure to Call Mexico appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Brown Bear Invades Pasadena Neighborhood

Brown Bear Invades Pasadena Neighborhood:  Fearful residents os a Pasadena neighborhood expressed concern as a brown bear invaded the peaceful neighborhood.  Animal control officers are confident the bear will leave the area soon and head back into the woods, because everyone knows that’s where bears must go – if they wanna go the bathroom.

 

Giant Squid Washes Ashore In Spain:  A giant 30-foot squid, whose oversized eyes and gargantuan blob of a body make it look more mythical than real beast, washed ashore at La Arena beach in Spain.  Wow, that sounds like one helluva serving of calamari.

 

Mexico Now Rated Most Obese Country:  According to a recently released United Nations report, Mexico has recently overtaken the US in obesity.  Fortunately, Donald Trump has once again pledged to do his part to make America great again.

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The post Brown Bear Invades Pasadena Neighborhood appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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