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Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder

Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder:  The wife of Missouri KKK leader Frank Ancona, who married him in full Klan costume, has been arrested for his murder.  She claims she doesn’t remember anything as she had been drinking and was “two sheets” to the wind.

 

Massive Supernova Visible From Millions of Light Years Away:  In astronomy news, scientists on Palomar Mountain have captured the early death of a massive star that was torn apart in a violent explosion which actually took place 160 million years ago.  My question is, if it happened 160 million years ago, how can it be considered news?  Does CNN have someone posted 160 million light years away reporting on this stuff?  And while some are concerned about radiation from the gamma bursts, I’ll be just fine because I’m posting this from under my duvet.

 

Playboy Returns to Nudity in March/April 2017 Issue:  After dropping its nude pictorials back in 2015, the men’s lifestyle magazine is bringing them back in its March/April 2017 issue featuring topless Playmate Elizabeth Elam as Miss March 2017 – along with the headline “Naked is normal.”  Guess someone finally figured out that no one actually READS Playboy magazine.  All part of the “Make America Great Again” plan I suppose.  Now, everyone can cancel their National Geographic subscriptions again.  On a positive note, thank God there’s still no nudity in Oprah and Gwyneth Paltrow’s magazines.

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The post Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Army to Allow Completion of Dakota Access Oil Pipeline

Army to Allow Completion of Dakota Access Oil Pipeline:  With the new Trump administration in place, the Army just announced it will allow the $3.8 billion Dakota Access oil pipeline to cross under a Missouri River reservoir in North Dakota, clearing the way for completion of the disputed four-state project.  In related news, its being reported that President Trump is also negotiating another pipeline which would run from the U.S. Treasury directly into one of his offshore bank accounts.

 

Wind Turbine Blades May One Day Be Made of Vegetables:  Researchers are searching for recyclable materials that could be used to manufacture wind turbine blades, including blades which are made out of vegetable sources.  Scientists say that if they’re successful, even vegetarians would be able to use the electricity.

 

Sarah Palin’s Name Mentioned as Canadian Ambassador:  Canadians have been going crazy on Twitter after White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer refused to discount the rumors that Sarah Palin is being considered as the next US Ambassador to Canada.  Geez, does the Trump Administration have any clue what a move like this could mean to US-Canadian diplomacy?  It means that the most polite people in the entire world will soon be giving us the finger!  On the other hand, some Americans counter that this is exactly what Canada deserves for sending us Justin Bieber.  Meanwhile, rumor has it that the Canadians are in super-secret negotiations to try and convince the Americans to appoint Tina Fey instead.

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The post Army to Allow Completion of Dakota Access Oil Pipeline appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Issues Executive Order to Defeat ISIS in 30 Days

Trump Issues Executive Order to Defeat ISIS in 30 Days:  President Trump has signed an executive order which instructs the U.S. military’s Joint Chiefs of staff to come up with a plan in 30 days to defeat ISIS.  In other executive actions, the President issued orders directing the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to come up with a plan to cure cancer, Athletes Foot and Herpes Simplex 2 in the next 30 days.

 

Study Finds Depression Poses Risk to Heart Health:  A new study out of Germany suggests that depression poses just as great a risk to your heart health as those more familiar heart disease contributors such as smoking, high cholesterol and obesity.  In response, a Trump appointee to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) is suggesting that “everyone just cheer up.”

 

Hasbro’s New Line of Robotic Cats for Seniors:  Hasbro has just come out with a line of $99 robot cats, specially designed to act as companion pets for people in old folks homes.  Geez, $99 for a fake cat?  That’s a lot of scratch!  And of course artificial hairballs will have to be purchased extra.  On a positive note, when some senile old batty forgets to feed the damn thing, nobody gonna get hurt.  “Give it new batteries Grandma, not canned tuna!”  As for me, I’ve left specific instructions for my family that, if it ever comes down to this – just pull the frigg’n plug on me.

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The post Trump Issues Executive Order to Defeat ISIS in 30 Days appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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