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Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii

Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii:  US Attorney General Jeff Sessions set off a firestorm after issuing an insulting dismissal of America’s 50th state, expressing astonishment that a judge “who sits on an island in the Pacific” could dare hold up American President Trump’s travel ban – making some wonder if he was even aware that Hawaii is a state.  Sure, Hawaii has been a state since 1959, but in Sessions’ defense, he’s still living in the year 1950.  That said, Hawaii shouldn’t take it too personally, Sessions doesn’t recognize any states which were added after the Missouri Compromise.  And on a positive note, at least he had the ocean correct.

 

Newly Discovered Exoplanet May Be Best Candidate for Life:  Scientists say a newly discovered exoplanet, some 40 light-years from Earth, may be the best place to look for signs of life outside our Solar System.  Uh oh, space aliens just 40 light-years away?  Sounds like the Trump Administration may need a bigger wall.

 

Lawsuit Claims Bose Headphones Spying on Customers:  An Illinois man has filed a class-action lawsuit, accusing high-end audio equipment maker Bose of spying on its users and selling information about their playlists and listening habits without permission.  And who can blame him?  I mean, who wants the general public to know your favorite music group is The Village People?

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The post Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself

Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself:  News that Donald Trump and his lawyers are musing about the possibility of the President pardoning his family and himself to insulate them from any potential charges of wrongdoing related to the 2016 election has worked up many into a fury.  I beg your pardon – they’re considering what?  Frankly, sometimes I wish this family of grifters would just grab all the silverware and free souvenir pens and run away to Russia in the middle of the night.

 

Trump Names Anti-Science Radio Host as Chief Scientist:  President Trump has just nominated climate change skeptic and right-wing talk radio host Sam Clovis to serve as the Department of Agriculture’s chief scientist – a slap in the face to the scientific community and those responsible for the integrity of the USDA’s research.  Great, now about the only thing Mr Trump has left to do is appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court and Rush Limbaugh to head up the FDA Opioids Action Plan.  That should pretty much keep us all moving right along up that proverbial creek.

 

Catholic Church Bans Gluten-Free Communion Wafers:  A recent letter from the Vatican reminded the world’s Catholic bishops of a rule mandating wheat gluten be in the communion wafers used in the celebration of Mass by Catholics.  Wait a minute, the church is insisting communion wafers have gluten in them?  I thought “gluteny” was a sin.

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The post Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder

Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder:  The wife of Missouri KKK leader Frank Ancona, who married him in full Klan costume, has been arrested for his murder.  She claims she doesn’t remember anything as she had been drinking and was “two sheets” to the wind.

 

Massive Supernova Visible From Millions of Light Years Away:  In astronomy news, scientists on Palomar Mountain have captured the early death of a massive star that was torn apart in a violent explosion which actually took place 160 million years ago.  My question is, if it happened 160 million years ago, how can it be considered news?  Does CNN have someone posted 160 million light years away reporting on this stuff?  And while some are concerned about radiation from the gamma bursts, I’ll be just fine because I’m posting this from under my duvet.

 

Playboy Returns to Nudity in March/April 2017 Issue:  After dropping its nude pictorials back in 2015, the men’s lifestyle magazine is bringing them back in its March/April 2017 issue featuring topless Playmate Elizabeth Elam as Miss March 2017 – along with the headline “Naked is normal.”  Guess someone finally figured out that no one actually READS Playboy magazine.  All part of the “Make America Great Again” plan I suppose.  Now, everyone can cancel their National Geographic subscriptions again.  On a positive note, thank God there’s still no nudity in Oprah and Gwyneth Paltrow’s magazines.

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The post Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Rush Limbaugh Suggests Hurricanes Are a Liberal Conspiracy

Rush Limbaugh Suggests Hurricanes Are a Liberal Conspiracy:  Right-wing radio personality Rush Limbaugh created quite the controversy after he delivered a freewheeling monologue on his radio show which seemed to suggest that all these hurricane scares are simply a liberal conspiracy intended to convince the public that climate change is real.

 

Which is kind of ironic, when you consider Rush Limbaugh probably blows more hot air around than any hurricane I’ve heard of.  Hell, studies show that just closing his mouth for a few minutes would decrease sustained wind speeds by huge margins.

 

That said, old Rush may actually be on to something with this “hurricanes are just a liberal conspiracy” idea.  Hell, I just watched a video showing a bunch of unfortunate Houston residents getting overwhelmed with about four or five feet of liberal conspiracy rushing right into their living rooms.

 

But that’s cool Rush, keep insisting these hurricanes are simply a liberal conspiracy.  In fact, if I were you, I’d ignore all those fake lib meteorologists and head right out of your Palm Beach mansion for a day at the beach on that beautiful Florida coast.  Hell, I’ll be more than happy to set up some free windsurfing classes for you this weekend.  Should be ideal windsurfing conditions as there’s supposed be a pretty good breeze coming.

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The post Rush Limbaugh Suggests Hurricanes Are a Liberal Conspiracy appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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