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Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii

Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii:  US Attorney General Jeff Sessions set off a firestorm after issuing an insulting dismissal of America’s 50th state, expressing astonishment that a judge “who sits on an island in the Pacific” could dare hold up American President Trump’s travel ban – making some wonder if he was even aware that Hawaii is a state.  Sure, Hawaii has been a state since 1959, but in Sessions’ defense, he’s still living in the year 1950.  That said, Hawaii shouldn’t take it too personally, Sessions doesn’t recognize any states which were added after the Missouri Compromise.  And on a positive note, at least he had the ocean correct.

 

Newly Discovered Exoplanet May Be Best Candidate for Life:  Scientists say a newly discovered exoplanet, some 40 light-years from Earth, may be the best place to look for signs of life outside our Solar System.  Uh oh, space aliens just 40 light-years away?  Sounds like the Trump Administration may need a bigger wall.

 

Lawsuit Claims Bose Headphones Spying on Customers:  An Illinois man has filed a class-action lawsuit, accusing high-end audio equipment maker Bose of spying on its users and selling information about their playlists and listening habits without permission.  And who can blame him?  I mean, who wants the general public to know your favorite music group is The Village People?

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The post Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder

Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder:  The wife of Missouri KKK leader Frank Ancona, who married him in full Klan costume, has been arrested for his murder.  She claims she doesn’t remember anything as she had been drinking and was “two sheets” to the wind.

 

Massive Supernova Visible From Millions of Light Years Away:  In astronomy news, scientists on Palomar Mountain have captured the early death of a massive star that was torn apart in a violent explosion which actually took place 160 million years ago.  My question is, if it happened 160 million years ago, how can it be considered news?  Does CNN have someone posted 160 million light years away reporting on this stuff?  And while some are concerned about radiation from the gamma bursts, I’ll be just fine because I’m posting this from under my duvet.

 

Playboy Returns to Nudity in March/April 2017 Issue:  After dropping its nude pictorials back in 2015, the men’s lifestyle magazine is bringing them back in its March/April 2017 issue featuring topless Playmate Elizabeth Elam as Miss March 2017 – along with the headline “Naked is normal.”  Guess someone finally figured out that no one actually READS Playboy magazine.  All part of the “Make America Great Again” plan I suppose.  Now, everyone can cancel their National Geographic subscriptions again.  On a positive note, thank God there’s still no nudity in Oprah and Gwyneth Paltrow’s magazines.

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The post Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Scott Walker Wants Wisconsin to Stop Dictating How Much Kids Go to School

Scott Walker Wants Wisconsin to Stop Dictating How Much Kids Go to School:  If Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) has his way, the Badger State will become the first state to stop requiring students in public schools to spend a minimum number of hours in the classroom.

 

Because everyone knows you don’t properly educate a child by sending them to school, you do it by cutting taxes for the wealthy.  Hell, people in Wisconsin don’t need no education.  They can figger out most ever-thing they need to no off Twitter and Facebook.

 

Wisconsin’s new state motto -“Just Say No to School!”  And don’t think Gov. Walker doesn’t practice what he preaches.  In fact, Walker was a guy who was so attuned to the fallacy of education, that he didn’t bother to complete his.  True to his word, Walker’s vowed not rest until everyone in Wisconsin is equally as stupid as he is.

 

But the point here is – you don’t need an education to be a success.  Take Sean Hannity, he dropped out of school, but was lucky enough to be home schooled by the Koch Brothers.  And then there’s Rush Limbaugh – a college dropout who went on to become the GOP’s leading expert on climate change.

 

Besides Wisconsin, even without a proper education, you can still get into great schools like Trump University – that is, just as long as you can find somewhere to get a loan to pay for it.

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The post Scott Walker Wants Wisconsin to Stop Dictating How Much Kids Go to School appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Trump Issues Executive Order to Defeat ISIS in 30 Days

Trump Issues Executive Order to Defeat ISIS in 30 Days:  President Trump has signed an executive order which instructs the U.S. military’s Joint Chiefs of staff to come up with a plan in 30 days to defeat ISIS.  In other executive actions, the President issued orders directing the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to come up with a plan to cure cancer, Athletes Foot and Herpes Simplex 2 in the next 30 days.

 

Study Finds Depression Poses Risk to Heart Health:  A new study out of Germany suggests that depression poses just as great a risk to your heart health as those more familiar heart disease contributors such as smoking, high cholesterol and obesity.  In response, a Trump appointee to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) is suggesting that “everyone just cheer up.”

 

Hasbro’s New Line of Robotic Cats for Seniors:  Hasbro has just come out with a line of $99 robot cats, specially designed to act as companion pets for people in old folks homes.  Geez, $99 for a fake cat?  That’s a lot of scratch!  And of course artificial hairballs will have to be purchased extra.  On a positive note, when some senile old batty forgets to feed the damn thing, nobody gonna get hurt.  “Give it new batteries Grandma, not canned tuna!”  As for me, I’ve left specific instructions for my family that, if it ever comes down to this – just pull the frigg’n plug on me.

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The post Trump Issues Executive Order to Defeat ISIS in 30 Days appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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