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Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions

Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions:  Amid reports that Attorney General Jeff Sessions had talks with Russia’s ambassador to the U.S. without disclosing it during his confirmation hearing, President Donald Trump said he wants to make it perfectly clear that he has “total confidence” in the Attorney General.  To further reinforce the point, an Administration spokesperson added that “not only does our President have the upmost confidence in Sessions, so does Russian President Vladimir Putin.”

 

NASA Considers Magnetic Shield to Help Mars Grow an Atmosphere:  NASA Planetary Science Division Director Jim Green says the agency is considering launching a magnetic shield towards Mars which could help warm the red planet and possibly allow it to become more habitable.  NASA says they believe the least costly way to accomplish this would most likely be to launch tens of thousands of refrigerators with magnets already attached to the doors in a massive rocket which would then robotically unload and set them upright on the surface of the red planet.  An added benefit would be notes could be attached under the magnets on the refrigerator doors which could provide future colonizers with useful and fun facts about the red planet once the planet became habitable again.

 

Caterpillar Headquarters Raided by the Feds:  Caterpillar has confirmed that Federal agents arrived at their global headquarters and began seizing documents and electronic records concerning its relationships with U.S. and non-U.S. subsidiaries.  Federal agents report no one at Caterpillar would talk to them during the raid prompting agents to ask “what’s the matter, Cat’s got your tongue?”  Anyway, its kind of sad to see this happen to such an iconic company so Deere to all of our hearts.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96

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Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96:  Dr. Henry J. Heimlich, the surgeon who developed and crusaded for the anti-choking technique that has been credited with saving an estimated 100,000 lives, has died in Cincinnati at age 96.  As might be expected, many of those 100,000 people he saved say the news of his death has them really choked-up.  Now, the question is – how many of them would be willing to cough-up a few bucks to help pay for the funeral.

 

Astronomers Discover Planet Made Largely of Diamond:  Scientists have discovered an alien planet named “55 Cancri E,” who’s mass is thought to be at least one third pure diamond.  In related news, the Kardashians announced they’ve decided to become astronauts.

 

Our Sun’s Twin Star May Have Eaten Two Planets:  Scientists say HIP68468, a twin star to our sun and about 300 light-years away, appears to have swallowed one or more of its planets.  Good grief, our sun’s twin ate two planets?  All I can say is, let’s hope our sun doesn’t decide to invite the twin over for Christmas dinner.

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The post Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96 appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years

Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years:  Unsatisfied with Nasa’s current plans to get humans on the Red Planet sometime in the 2030s, President Trump announced he wants people on Mars by the end of his first term, in three-and-a-half years.  Wonder if Trump realizes that Mars is know as the “Red Planet,” not the “Orange Planet?”  The way things are going, Trump would spend billions of our tax dollars sending people to Mars and as soon as they land, the first thing they see is a Yuge statue of Kim Jong Un.

 

Elderly Man Spray Painting “No Kids” in Seniors-Only Community:  Police now suspect it was another elderly man who behind the spray painting of a 63-year-old Florida man’s car in a seniors-only gated community with the message “NO KIDS,” after the man babysitted his 4-year-old granddaughter a couple of times.  Every time I hear about people committing crimes like this – I can’t help but think “where are parents?”

 

Chocolate Consumption Linked to Nobel Prizes:  A new study has found that countries with the highest consumption of chocolate also have the most Nobel Prize winners.  I don’t buy it.  I mean, simple logic tells you that if there really was a relationship between chocolate consumption and the Nobel Prize, wouldn’t nearly all Nobel Prizes be awarded to women?

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The post Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size

 

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size:  According to a University of Michigan study, analyzed scans of people who’d spent long periods of time in space found the volume of grey matter in their brains had actually decreased.  In fact, one astronaut who’d spent a prolonged period of time on the International Space Station, was found to have lost so much brain matter that when he returned to Earth, he tried to convince NASA that the Earth was flat, the Apollo moon landing was faked and the 2016 Cleveland Browns were the greatest football team of all-time.

 

News Corp Announces Big Changes for Wall Street Journal:  In an attempt to be more supportive of the new administration, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp has decided to completely drop all business reporting in its Wall Street Journal in order to focus completely on the progress of President Trump’s beautiful new Mexican border wall – this dramatic move will include changing the paper’s historic name from the The Wall Street Journal to simply “The Wall Journal.”

 

Stores Pulling Nutella After Report Links It To Cancer:  Nutella, the popular hazelnut spread, is being removed from supermarket shelves around the world as a result of a report that suggested one of its main ingredients – palm oil – has been linked to cancer.  Makes sense to me!  I live in California where they have palm trees everywhere and there’s no question that some of the people living in California have cancer.

 

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The post Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Recent Mystery Signal From Space Has Scientists Baffled

Recent Mystery Signal From Space Has Scientists Baffled:  A new mystery signal from deep space has been detected using the Parkes radio telescope in Australia, leaving scientists baffled as to where it came from and what caused it.  While NASA was unable to fully translate the signal, its seemed to be saying something to the effect of “Earthlings, if you get this in time – please don’t vote for that big fat, lying, narcissistic, lunatic bastard Trump.”

 

Study Shows Everything We Know About Salt May Be Wrong:  New studies conducted on Russian cosmonauts suggest that – contrary to common belief – salt doesn’t really make you thirsty and it could actually have beneficial effects including burning body fat.  Scientists say going forward, anyone worth their salt will need to know this.

 

Study Finds Americans Not Eating Out Anymore:  More than half of all Americans say they’ve not gone out to eat in the past year, in what may be one of the clearest reflections yet of how the depressed economy is restricting choices for consumers.  No kidding!  About the only way I can afford to eat out these days would be if I eat out of a garbage can.

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The post Recent Mystery Signal From Space Has Scientists Baffled appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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