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White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement

White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement:  White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted that President Trump “weighed in” on the misleading statement issued by his son, but denied that the President dictated his son’s statement.  Hell, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you want Trump to own up to writing the statement, all you have to do is tell him it was “brilliantly written.”

 

NASA Hiring Planetary Protection Officer to Defend Earth from Aliens:  NASA is seeking to hire a full-time “planetary protection officer,” a job which pays $187,000 and will involve ensuring that humans in space do not contaminate planets and moons, as well as ensuring alien matter does not infect the Earth.  My question is, how would you measure job performance on a gig like that?  Anyway, I understand Randy Quaid is looking for a job.  Just hand him a lightsaber and set him loose.

 

Kanye West Sues Lloyd’s Over Canceled Tour Insurance:  Rapper Kanye West has filed a $10 million lawsuit against Lloyd’s of London, alleging that Lloyd’s is withholding paying out claims from the rapper’s canceled Saint Pablo tour which was abruptly ended after West began delivering bizarre rants about Jay-Z, Beyoncé and then-president-elect Donald Trump before finally checking into a UCLA psychiatric facility.  The way I look at it, Lloyd’s actually insured Kanye West?  Now you tell me who’s crazy.

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The post White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions

Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions:  Amid reports that Attorney General Jeff Sessions had talks with Russia’s ambassador to the U.S. without disclosing it during his confirmation hearing, President Donald Trump said he wants to make it perfectly clear that he has “total confidence” in the Attorney General.  To further reinforce the point, an Administration spokesperson added that “not only does our President have the upmost confidence in Sessions, so does Russian President Vladimir Putin.”

 

NASA Considers Magnetic Shield to Help Mars Grow an Atmosphere:  NASA Planetary Science Division Director Jim Green says the agency is considering launching a magnetic shield towards Mars which could help warm the red planet and possibly allow it to become more habitable.  NASA says they believe the least costly way to accomplish this would most likely be to launch tens of thousands of refrigerators with magnets already attached to the doors in a massive rocket which would then robotically unload and set them upright on the surface of the red planet.  An added benefit would be notes could be attached under the magnets on the refrigerator doors which could provide future colonizers with useful and fun facts about the red planet once the planet became habitable again.

 

Caterpillar Headquarters Raided by the Feds:  Caterpillar has confirmed that Federal agents arrived at their global headquarters and began seizing documents and electronic records concerning its relationships with U.S. and non-U.S. subsidiaries.  Federal agents report no one at Caterpillar would talk to them during the raid prompting agents to ask “what’s the matter, Cat’s got your tongue?”  Anyway, its kind of sad to see this happen to such an iconic company so Deere to all of our hearts.

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The post Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96

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Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96:  Dr. Henry J. Heimlich, the surgeon who developed and crusaded for the anti-choking technique that has been credited with saving an estimated 100,000 lives, has died in Cincinnati at age 96.  As might be expected, many of those 100,000 people he saved say the news of his death has them really choked-up.  Now, the question is – how many of them would be willing to cough-up a few bucks to help pay for the funeral.

 

Astronomers Discover Planet Made Largely of Diamond:  Scientists have discovered an alien planet named “55 Cancri E,” who’s mass is thought to be at least one third pure diamond.  In related news, the Kardashians announced they’ve decided to become astronauts.

 

Our Sun’s Twin Star May Have Eaten Two Planets:  Scientists say HIP68468, a twin star to our sun and about 300 light-years away, appears to have swallowed one or more of its planets.  Good grief, our sun’s twin ate two planets?  All I can say is, let’s hope our sun doesn’t decide to invite the twin over for Christmas dinner.

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The post Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96 appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Fake Russian Facebook Accounts Bought $100,000 in Political Ads

Fake Russian Facebook Accounts Bought $100,000 in Political Ads:  Providing new evidence of Russian interference in the 2016 election, Facebook disclosed it has identified more than $100,000 worth of divisive ads on hot-button issues purchased by a shadowy Russian company linked to the Kremlin.  It’s getting so bad that if Facebook keeps accepts any more bogus ads, they’ll have to start calling themselves “Fakebook.”

 

Biggest Asteroid Ever Detected by NASA Flies Past Earth:  The largest asteroid ever recorded by NASA recently passed Earth at a distance of 145 million miles – although classified as “potentially hazardous,” it will not pass by earth again until the year 2500.  Wow, that’s a relief.  Hell, by 2500, everyone alive today will be long dead anyway, with the possible exception of Keith Richards.

 

Massive Black Hole Discovered Near Heart of Milky Way:  Astronomers say they’ve found evidence of an enormous black hole, one hundred thousand times more massive than the sun, in a gas cloud near our galaxy’s center.  Scientists say that while its always exciting to make new astronomical discoveries, its pretty obvious from the images that the quality on this black hole was way down – they’re just not making them like they did 20 years ago.

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The post Fake Russian Facebook Accounts Bought $100,000 in Political Ads appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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