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Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce

Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce:  Anthony Scaramucci’s wife of three years is reportedly fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump – whom she reportedly despises – and has filed for divorce from the new White House communications director.  Rumor has it her attorneys are asking that the country be included in the divorce settlement.  Anyway, it might be a good idea for someone to let Ann Coulter know the Mooch is available.  Of course, if everything else fails, his boss can always set him up with a couple of hot Russian hookers.

 

New Drug Approved for Curved Penis Condition:  Men with a condition that causes a curvature of the penis now have a drug treatment option that has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration.  I once knew a guy who had this condition – and, not to anyone’s surprise, the car he drove was a Bentley.

 

Trump Once Summoned Priebus and Ordered Him to Kill a Fly:  The Washington Post is reporting that President Trump once summoned Chief of Staff Reince Priebus to his office and ordered him to kill a fly that was buzzing around the room.  Those present say the situation turned into conflict when Reince immediately started swatting Kellyanne with a flyswatter.

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The post Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions

Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions:  In response to new U.S. sanctions, Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered that the U.S. diplomatic missions in Moscow and elsewhere in the country will have to cut 755 staff members.  Putin said under his new directive, senior diplomatic staff will be cut with sharp, pointy objects, while lower functionaries will only receive paper cuts.

 

Outback Steakhouse Accused of Being Satanic:  Outback Steakhouse is facing a PR nightmare after a fundamentalist Christian went on Twitter and posted a graphic with lines drawn connecting Outback Steakhouse locations in several cities that see appeared to some to form a pentagram, causing many Christians to conclude that the restaurant chain is satanist.  The situation only worsened at a press conference Outback called to deny the allegations when someone called out “you’re devil worshipers” and the Outback spokesperson yelled back “like hell we are!”

 

Regular Alcohol Drinkers Have Lower Risk of Diabetes:  According to a new study that looked at more than 70,000 Danish people, those who drink small to moderate amounts of alcohol on a frequent basis are less likely to develop diabetes than people who don’t drink at all.  Now, of course I’m no medical professional, but just on the surface – I’d have to say drinking sounds like it would be a hell of a lot more fun than diabetes.

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The post Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Trump Threatens Venezuela With Possible Military Option

Trump Threatens Venezuela With Possible Military Option:  Speaking to reporters from his New Jersey golf course, President Trump further escalated his warnings against foreign powers, this time threatening the possibility of military intervention in Venezuela.  After all this, many are starting to wonder which country Trump will threaten next.  One thing’s for sure, with Trump in the White House, we’ll never have to worry about repeating Napoleon and Hitler’s big mistake of invading Russia.

 

South Carolina Issues Lizard People Warning During Eclipse:  The South Carolina Emergency Management Division is officially cautioning citizens of that state “to remain ever vigilant,” because the upcoming solar eclipse is likely to coincide with an increase in paranormal activity in the form of “lizard people” sightings.  And this is coming from a state which hasn’t legalized marijuana, so they can’t blame it on the weed.  Personally, I think there’s just one hell of a lot of people in South Carolina and Northern Florida who happen to be damn good at catching flies with their tongues, which may account for the confusing sightings.

 

Coffee Boosts Brain’s Ability to Store Long-Term Memory: Scientists have found that a shot of caffeine greatly enhances the brain’s ability to store long-term memories. Too bad, because I was hoping that one-day I could forget just how much money I spend at Starbucks.

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The post Trump Threatens Venezuela With Possible Military Option appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Tells Golfing Buddies White House is a Real Dump

Trump Tells Golfing Buddies White House is a Real Dump:  Many are up in arms after President Donald Trump reportedly told a group of his golfing buddies at his New Jersey golf club that the reason he frequents his properties so often is because “the White House is a real dump.”

 

Wow, if he thinks the White House is a dump, I guess he’s really going to hate prison.  But in some respects, he may be on to something.  Rumor has it that since January 20th, the property has been overrun by a family of sleazy grifters.

 

I mean to hear Trump describe it, you’d think the place is going right down a gold-plated toilet.  But in Trump’s defense, I’m sure that crack about being a dump was just a joke.  You know, kind of like a Trump presidency – just a joke.

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The post Trump Tells Golfing Buddies White House is a Real Dump appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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