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Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years

Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years:  Unsatisfied with Nasa’s current plans to get humans on the Red Planet sometime in the 2030s, President Trump announced he wants people on Mars by the end of his first term, in three-and-a-half years.  Wonder if Trump realizes that Mars is know as the “Red Planet,” not the “Orange Planet?”  The way things are going, Trump would spend billions of our tax dollars sending people to Mars and as soon as they land, the first thing they see is a Yuge statue of Kim Jong Un.

 

Elderly Man Spray Painting “No Kids” in Seniors-Only Community:  Police now suspect it was another elderly man who behind the spray painting of a 63-year-old Florida man’s car in a seniors-only gated community with the message “NO KIDS,” after the man babysitted his 4-year-old granddaughter a couple of times.  Every time I hear about people committing crimes like this – I can’t help but think “where are parents?”

 

Chocolate Consumption Linked to Nobel Prizes:  A new study has found that countries with the highest consumption of chocolate also have the most Nobel Prize winners.  I don’t buy it.  I mean, simple logic tells you that if there really was a relationship between chocolate consumption and the Nobel Prize, wouldn’t nearly all Nobel Prizes be awarded to women?

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The post Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Corey Lewandowski Compares Trump to Ernest Hemingway

Corey Lewandowski Compares Trump to Ernest Hemingway:  During a recent appearance on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show, former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski compared Donald Trump to the Nobel Prize winning author, claiming the Mr Trump is “the Ernest Hemingway of Twitter.”

 

Interesting point, and I do have to admit I rather enjoyed Trump’s latest bestseller “A Farewell to Arms – and the Tiny, Little Hands Attached to Them.”  On the other hand, I didn’t realize calling people nasty names on Twitter is suffice to warrant comparisons to Nobel Prize winning authors.  I suppose Trump would be grateful for the compliment, if only he had the slightest idea who the hell Ernest Hemingway was.

 

I mean, Hemingway wrote novels, while Trumps needs a ghostwriter for anything that goes longer than 140 characters.  And of course there’s always that pesky little fact that Hemingway actually knew how to read, write and spell – although Trump does frequently lay claim to knowing all of the best words (i.e. bigly, yuge, loser and of course – covfefe).

 

But in all fairness, I suppose there are some legitimate comparisons.  Hemingway loved bullfighting, Trump loves throwing out loads of bull crap.  Hemingway was one of America’s best writers of fiction, while nearly everything that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth is fiction.

 

But the comparisons don’t stop there.  Hemingway received the Nobel Prize for Literature – while Trump hung Fake Time Magazine Covers featuring his picture on the clubhouse walls at his golf courses.  Sadly, Hemingway committed suicide, while President Trump is slowly committing political suicide.

 

Anyway, if Mr Trump really wants to cement a solid Hemingway comparison, I think he needs to publish a few more books.  Here’s a few suggestions for titles – ”The Old Man And His Daughter,”  “The Snow Jobs of Kiliman Jared,”  “A Farewell to Sanity” and perhaps most appropriate for the Trump legacy – “To Have and Have More!”

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The post Corey Lewandowski Compares Trump to Ernest Hemingway appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Paddock Girlfriend Says He Was Quiet Man

Paddock Girlfriend Says He Was Quiet Man:  The girlfriend of the Las Vegas shooter says that she knew Stephen Paddock as a kind, caring, quiet man.  Ever notice how often people describe mass murderers as “a quiet man?”  So folks, next time your noisy neighbor gets a bit loud, don’t complain.  At least you know he’s not gonna kill anyone.

 

Nobel Prize in Physics Awarded for Gravitational Waves:  Three scientists have been awarded the 2017 Nobel Prize in Physics for the discovery of ripples in space-time known as gravitational waves, which were predicted by Albert Einstein a century ago, but had never been directly seen.  Hell, you don’t need to be an Einstein to predict gravitational waves.  With obesity rates in the US running at nearly 40%, just get any of them to jump up and down a few times and I’ll show you some gravity waves.

 

Republicans Say News Media More Dangerous Than White Supremacists:  In a new Fox News poll, an overwhelming majority of Republicans (69% to 18%), believe the news media poses a greater threat to the United States than white supremacists.  Of course they do – they all believe that “white makes right.”

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The post Paddock Girlfriend Says He Was Quiet Man appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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