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Ohio Woman Busted After Soliciting Sex for Nachos

Ohio Woman Busted After Soliciting Sex for Nachos:  An Ohio woman has been arrested in the parking lot of Beaver Township’s Los Gallos Mexican Restaurant after telling an undercover cop that she would provide a sex act for $60 and a large order of nachos.  Wow, that’s really cheesy, but then again – this is Beaver Township – what do ya expect?  Police say the fact that she requested both food and money proves she’s nacho typical prostitute.  And if she’d do that for nachos, makes you wonder what she’d do for a Klondike bar?  I’m assuming the undercover cop had enough hard evidence to make the arrest.

 

German Doctors Advise Public to Walk Like Penguins:  German trauma surgeons are advising the public to walk like penguins and lean the torso forward to avoid slipping on pavements during freezing temperatures.  Yea, it starts innocently enough with walking like penguins, and before you know it – they’re goose-stepping again.

 

Ohio Man Accused of Semen Attacks in Walmart:  Police in Ohio have arrested a 26-year-old man accused of squirting semen onto women at a Walmart on multiple occasions after using the store’s bathroom to masturbate into a syringe.  He masturbated into a syringe?  Talk about a tiny penis!  I hate to judge, but its almost enough to make you think this guy may have some unresolved issues.

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The post Ohio Woman Busted After Soliciting Sex for Nachos appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Nicole Kidman Says Its Time Americans Support Donald Trump

Nicole Kidman Says Its Time Americans Support Donald Trump:  Nicole Kidman caused some controversy this week when she said in an interview that Americans need to support Donald Trump now that he’s been elected President.  Good grief, you could make the same argument about diabetes or heart disease.  Now that you’ve got it, you should do every thing you can to support it.

 

Earliest Human Species Possibly Found in Ethiopia:  Researchers say an ancient jawbone fragment found in Ethiopia is the oldest human fossil discovered yet, a bone potentially from a new species that reveals the human family may have arose a half million years earlier than previously thought.  Anthropologists speculate the creature came from an environment so primitive and hostile, it could make places like Cleveland or Akron look like desirable areas to live.

 

Jessica Alba’s “Honest Company” Recalls Baby Powder:  Jessica Alba’s The Honest Company has issued a voluntary recall for all bottles of its organic baby powder sold in the United States over concerns of eye and skin irritations.  Baby powder recalled over eye irritations?  Sounds like those babies are just a bunch of big babies.

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The post Nicole Kidman Says Its Time Americans Support Donald Trump appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96

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Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96:  Dr. Henry J. Heimlich, the surgeon who developed and crusaded for the anti-choking technique that has been credited with saving an estimated 100,000 lives, has died in Cincinnati at age 96.  As might be expected, many of those 100,000 people he saved say the news of his death has them really choked-up.  Now, the question is – how many of them would be willing to cough-up a few bucks to help pay for the funeral.

 

Astronomers Discover Planet Made Largely of Diamond:  Scientists have discovered an alien planet named “55 Cancri E,” who’s mass is thought to be at least one third pure diamond.  In related news, the Kardashians announced they’ve decided to become astronauts.

 

Our Sun’s Twin Star May Have Eaten Two Planets:  Scientists say HIP68468, a twin star to our sun and about 300 light-years away, appears to have swallowed one or more of its planets.  Good grief, our sun’s twin ate two planets?  All I can say is, let’s hope our sun doesn’t decide to invite the twin over for Christmas dinner.

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The post Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96 appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Claims Obama Had Him Wiretapped

Trump Claims Obama Had Him Wiretapped:  In a blast of really bazaar early morning tweets, President Trump claimed that former President Obama had him wiretapped at Trump Tower just before the election.  Sources say the President found the wiretap device planted just under the drawer where he stores former President Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate.  And while intelligence agencies are calling the allegations ridiculous, they’ve refused to rule out the possibility that Obama secretly had a microchip implanted in Trump’s brain.

 

Veal Recalled for Possible E.Coli Contamination:  The US Department of Agriculture announced that 40,000 pounds of veal from Ohio Farms Packing Co. has been recalled due to possible E.coli contamination.  The meat was believed to be destined for White House chief strategist Steve Bannon’s dinner table.  Upon hearing the news, a White House spokesperson said “its a shame they threw it out, Mr Bannon would have eaten it anyway.

 

Target to Sell Affordable Wedding Dresses:  Target has announced that they now will be selling a line of affordable wedding dresses.  This sounds like a great idea – for anyone who wants their wedding to become a “target” of ridicule.

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The post Trump Claims Obama Had Him Wiretapped appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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