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Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait

Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait:  Twelve of the nation’s most revered portrait artists-including the woman who painted Presidents Barack Obama and George Bush – have refused the White House’s invitation to capture Mr. Trump on canvas.

 

Gee, I have a friend who paints houses part time who I bet would be willing to give it a try.  Hell, he’d probably do it for a couple of six-packs of Rolling Rock and a bucket of fried chicken.  Also, I have an aunt (on my mother’s side) who has always been pretty darn good at those “Paint By the Number” projects.  I assume the primary number on a Trump portrait would have to be the number “45” – which I believe is the color orange.

 

Anyway, she’s quite elderly and from Ohio, so she’d be right up Trump’s demographic alley and would probably love to take on a project with such meaning.  Also, she sure appears to have lots of time on her hands – at least that’s what her doctors tell me.  Of course I’m her only beneficiary, so naturally I monitor things like that rather closely.  And of course now that Trump people are fully in charge of the EPA, I’m sure they’ll have no issues if she uses lead paint.

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The post Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours

Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours:  There is much speculation as to what went on in the meeting between President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin, as the meeting which was originally allotted 30 minutes, went nearly two hours and a half.  Well that’s an understandable time frame.  Hell, you’ve got two wannabe dick-tators and remember, it takes at least 30 minutes for Viagra to kick in.  On the other hand, its rumored Trump may have sold Alaska back to the Russians.  However, on a positive note – Sarah Palin was reportedly part of the deal.

 

Christian Activist Claims Katy Perry Driving Fans to Suicide via Lesbianism:  Conservative Christian Activist and Pastor Kevin Swanson has had just about enough of people like Katy Perry singing about kissing girls and liking it, and is now claiming Perry is leading children to decadence, followed by despair and finally suicide through her songs which glorify lesbianism.  I get it – that maddening cycle of “Katy Perry to lesbian to despair to suicide” of which Jesus frequently referred to in the Gospels.  The only problem is, short of Katy Perry losing her record contract – it seems to me about the only thing Pastor Swanson and his congregation can do is continue to vigorously rub human feces all over themselves until finally there are no more lesbians.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-768x769.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-1022x1024.jpg 1022w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars.jpg 1240w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Mars Surface Bathed in Toxic Chemicals:  New data indicates there’s very little chance the Red planet can harbor life with the finding that the surface of the red planet contains a “toxic cocktail” of chemicals that can wipe out living organisms.  Scientists say about the only thing we have similar here on Earth would be areas like Cleveland and Pittsburgh, but obviously there’s a lot more to do on Mars.

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The post Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Eric Bolling Tweets Response to Suspension on Sex-Harassment

Eric Bolling Tweets Response to Suspension on Sex-Harassment:  Fox News host and contributor Eric Bolling tweeted his appreciation to those who’ve supported him after he was suspended from Fox for sexting and harassing female colleagues.  A grateful Bolling tweeted “Overwhelmed by all the support I have received.  Thank you.  Look forward to sending each and every one of you a close-up pic of my junk asap.”

 

Pot Worth $85 Million Found Near Camp Grounds on Federal Land:  Authorities said they have eradicated more than 27,000 marijuana plants in the past week with a potential street value of about $85 million on U.S. Forest Service land in Santa Barbara County.  All I can say is, I’ve obviously been going to the wrong camp grounds.  All I ever seem to find are empty beer cans and used condoms.

 

Ohio State Scientists Find New Way to Heal Wounds:  Scientists at Ohio State University say they’ve developed a new method called Tissue Nanotransfection (TNT) for healing wounds which involves placing a small chip about the size of a cuff link onto the site of a wound which reprograms the cell’s DNA or RNA – therefore promoting healing.  Excellent idea!  I mean, why settle for a lousy band-aid when there’s a $10,000 medical procedure available?

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The post Eric Bolling Tweets Response to Suspension on Sex-Harassment appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth

Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth:  Silicon Valley titan and Trump supporter Peter Thiel, has reportedly invested $100,000 in a project which hopes to bring the extinct mammoth back to life.  Makes sense.  After all, the Trump administration is trying to escort us all back to the Middle Ages, so why stop there?  May as well head right on back to the ice age while we’re at it.  Sharpen your stone tools and I’ll get a fire started in the cave.  Let’s make Pangaea great again!

 

Alan Jones Claims NASA Operating Child Slave Colony on Mars:  Just months after his tale about Hillary Clinton people running a child sex ring in the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizzeria sent a gunman there to shoot up the place, Republican alt-right conspiracy theorist Alan Jones is now busy peddling an even more outrageous theory about NASA operating a child slave colony on Mars.  On a positive note – at least on Mars, those poor children won’t have to listen to nut cases like Alex Jones rambling on and on about absolute nonsense anymore.

 

Start-Up Wants to Send Your Remains Into Space:  A start-up company says they will launch your cremated remains into low orbit which will circle the Earth for a few months before re-entry into the atmosphere and finally burn up in an awesome fireball, all for the low, low price of $1,990.  Sounds like the perfect ending for my life – spend my last two grand to end up as a cheap fireworks display over suburban Cincinnati.

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The post Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Lack Of Sleep May Cause Your Brain To Eat Itself

Lack Of Sleep May Cause Your Brain To Eat Itself:  Scientists say not getting enough sleep can cause the brain to “eat up” its connections, while also increasing risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other neurological disorders.  Great, like I needed something else to worry about at 3 AM.  On the other hand, this may finally explain what’s up with Trump when he’s blasting out all those angry, incoherent tweets in the middle of the night.

 

Ohio Had More Than 4,000 Overdose Deaths in 2016:  A newspaper survey of Ohio county coroners found the Buckeye State had 4,149 unintentional fatal drug overdoses in 2016 – making it one of the hardest hit by a heroin and opioid epidemic.  While not condoning the opioid use, a follow-up study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that Ohio and Florida are perhaps the only two places in the country where its completely justifiable for people to make the decision to just stay drunk.

 

New Diabetes Test Eliminates Painful Pricks:  Scientists at the University of Michigan say they have developed a new diabetes test that can utilize tears to measure glucose levels and therefore eliminate the need for those painful pricks to the skin.  Perhaps, but I suspect it’ll take a lot more than some newfangled diabetes test to eliminate all the “painful pricks” I have to deal with in my life.

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The post Lack Of Sleep May Cause Your Brain To Eat Itself appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates

Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates:   A new study shows the supervolcano beneath Yellowstone National Park is actually about 2.5 times larger than previous estimates, suggesting that an eruption could very well doom all of humanity.  Scientists theorize it would be nearly impossible for most life forms to survive such a cataclysmic event, with the possible exception of cockroaches or perhaps a few of the Kardashians.

 

Fossils Cast Doubt on Humanity Originating in Africa:  Fossils from Greece and Bulgaria of an ape-like creature that lived 7.2 million years ago may fundamentally alter the understanding of human origins, casting doubt on the view that the evolutionary lineage that led to people arose in Africa.  So their now claiming humanity originated in Bulgaria and not Africa?  Well, I guess it could have been worse, it could have been Cleveland.

 

T. rex Could Bite With the Force of Three Cars:  Further solidifying it’s reputation as the most fearsome of dinosaurs, scientists say when the fabled carnivorous dinosaur Tyrannosaurus rex took a bite, it did so with an awe-inspiring force equal to the weight of three small cars.  Which is why I’ve always carried a Tyrannosaurus rider with my car insurance policy.

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The post Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Western Men’s Sperm Counts Halved in Last 40 Years

Western Men’s Sperm Counts Halved in Last 40 Years:  Research indicates sperm counts among Western men have been reduced by more than half in the last 40 years, and scientists are struggling to determine why.  Frankly, I’m less curious about what’s causing the drop as I am to know just who the hell’s been doing the counting all this time.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Penis-Pumps-300x3... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Penis-Pumps.jpg 355w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Penis Pumps Cost Government $172 Million:  The Department of Health and Human Services reports that Medicare spent $172.4 million on 474,000 claims for vacuum erection systems (penis pumps) for senior citizens from 2006 to 2011.  Well, I guess that’s one way to “pump” cash into a “limp” economy.

 

Trump Says He’s More Presidential Than Anyone Except Lincoln:  At a recent campaign-style rally in Ohio, President Donald Trump claimed he could act more “presidential” than any previous White House occupant, with the exception of Abraham Lincoln.  Yea, and I’m much more Christ-like than that guy in the beard.  Only losers get crucified.  Of course while I’m no doctor, it appears that syphilis has really started to do its job quite well!

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The post Western Men’s Sperm Counts Halved in Last 40 Years appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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