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Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait

Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait:  Twelve of the nation’s most revered portrait artists-including the woman who painted Presidents Barack Obama and George Bush – have refused the White House’s invitation to capture Mr. Trump on canvas.

 

Gee, I have a friend who paints houses part time who I bet would be willing to give it a try.  Hell, he’d probably do it for a couple of six-packs of Rolling Rock and a bucket of fried chicken.  Also, I have an aunt (on my mother’s side) who has always been pretty darn good at those “Paint By the Number” projects.  I assume the primary number on a Trump portrait would have to be the number “45” – which I believe is the color orange.

 

Anyway, she’s quite elderly and from Ohio, so she’d be right up Trump’s demographic alley and would probably love to take on a project with such meaning.  Also, she sure appears to have lots of time on her hands – at least that’s what her doctors tell me.  Of course I’m her only beneficiary, so naturally I monitor things like that rather closely.  And of course now that Trump people are fully in charge of the EPA, I’m sure they’ll have no issues if she uses lead paint.

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The post Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours

Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours:  There is much speculation as to what went on in the meeting between President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin, as the meeting which was originally allotted 30 minutes, went nearly two hours and a half.  Well that’s an understandable time frame.  Hell, you’ve got two wannabe dick-tators and remember, it takes at least 30 minutes for Viagra to kick in.  On the other hand, its rumored Trump may have sold Alaska back to the Russians.  However, on a positive note – Sarah Palin was reportedly part of the deal.

 

Christian Activist Claims Katy Perry Driving Fans to Suicide via Lesbianism:  Conservative Christian Activist and Pastor Kevin Swanson has had just about enough of people like Katy Perry singing about kissing girls and liking it, and is now claiming Perry is leading children to decadence, followed by despair and finally suicide through her songs which glorify lesbianism.  I get it – that maddening cycle of “Katy Perry to lesbian to despair to suicide” of which Jesus frequently referred to in the Gospels.  The only problem is, short of Katy Perry losing her record contract – it seems to me about the only thing Pastor Swanson and his congregation can do is continue to vigorously rub human feces all over themselves until finally there are no more lesbians.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-768x769.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-1022x1024.jpg 1022w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars.jpg 1240w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Mars Surface Bathed in Toxic Chemicals:  New data indicates there’s very little chance the Red planet can harbor life with the finding that the surface of the red planet contains a “toxic cocktail” of chemicals that can wipe out living organisms.  Scientists say about the only thing we have similar here on Earth would be areas like Cleveland and Pittsburgh, but obviously there’s a lot more to do on Mars.

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The post Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Claims Obama Had Him Wiretapped

Trump Claims Obama Had Him Wiretapped:  In a blast of really bazaar early morning tweets, President Trump claimed that former President Obama had him wiretapped at Trump Tower just before the election.  Sources say the President found the wiretap device planted just under the drawer where he stores former President Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate.  And while intelligence agencies are calling the allegations ridiculous, they’ve refused to rule out the possibility that Obama secretly had a microchip implanted in Trump’s brain.

 

Veal Recalled for Possible E.Coli Contamination:  The US Department of Agriculture announced that 40,000 pounds of veal from Ohio Farms Packing Co. has been recalled due to possible E.coli contamination.  The meat was believed to be destined for White House chief strategist Steve Bannon’s dinner table.  Upon hearing the news, a White House spokesperson said “its a shame they threw it out, Mr Bannon would have eaten it anyway.

 

Target to Sell Affordable Wedding Dresses:  Target has announced that they now will be selling a line of affordable wedding dresses.  This sounds like a great idea – for anyone who wants their wedding to become a “target” of ridicule.

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The post Trump Claims Obama Had Him Wiretapped appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth

Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth:  Silicon Valley titan and Trump supporter Peter Thiel, has reportedly invested $100,000 in a project which hopes to bring the extinct mammoth back to life.  Makes sense.  After all, the Trump administration is trying to escort us all back to the Middle Ages, so why stop there?  May as well head right on back to the ice age while we’re at it.  Sharpen your stone tools and I’ll get a fire started in the cave.  Let’s make Pangaea great again!

 

Alan Jones Claims NASA Operating Child Slave Colony on Mars:  Just months after his tale about Hillary Clinton people running a child sex ring in the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizzeria sent a gunman there to shoot up the place, Republican alt-right conspiracy theorist Alan Jones is now busy peddling an even more outrageous theory about NASA operating a child slave colony on Mars.  On a positive note – at least on Mars, those poor children won’t have to listen to nut cases like Alex Jones rambling on and on about absolute nonsense anymore.

 

Start-Up Wants to Send Your Remains Into Space:  A start-up company says they will launch your cremated remains into low orbit which will circle the Earth for a few months before re-entry into the atmosphere and finally burn up in an awesome fireball, all for the low, low price of $1,990.  Sounds like the perfect ending for my life – spend my last two grand to end up as a cheap fireworks display over suburban Cincinnati.

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The post Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Lack Of Sleep May Cause Your Brain To Eat Itself

Lack Of Sleep May Cause Your Brain To Eat Itself:  Scientists say not getting enough sleep can cause the brain to “eat up” its connections, while also increasing risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other neurological disorders.  Great, like I needed something else to worry about at 3 AM.  On the other hand, this may finally explain what’s up with Trump when he’s blasting out all those angry, incoherent tweets in the middle of the night.

 

Ohio Had More Than 4,000 Overdose Deaths in 2016:  A newspaper survey of Ohio county coroners found the Buckeye State had 4,149 unintentional fatal drug overdoses in 2016 – making it one of the hardest hit by a heroin and opioid epidemic.  While not condoning the opioid use, a follow-up study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that Ohio and Florida are perhaps the only two places in the country where its completely justifiable for people to make the decision to just stay drunk.

 

New Diabetes Test Eliminates Painful Pricks:  Scientists at the University of Michigan say they have developed a new diabetes test that can utilize tears to measure glucose levels and therefore eliminate the need for those painful pricks to the skin.  Perhaps, but I suspect it’ll take a lot more than some newfangled diabetes test to eliminate all the “painful pricks” I have to deal with in my life.

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The post Lack Of Sleep May Cause Your Brain To Eat Itself appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates

Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates:   A new study shows the supervolcano beneath Yellowstone National Park is actually about 2.5 times larger than previous estimates, suggesting that an eruption could very well doom all of humanity.  Scientists theorize it would be nearly impossible for most life forms to survive such a cataclysmic event, with the possible exception of cockroaches or perhaps a few of the Kardashians.

 

Fossils Cast Doubt on Humanity Originating in Africa:  Fossils from Greece and Bulgaria of an ape-like creature that lived 7.2 million years ago may fundamentally alter the understanding of human origins, casting doubt on the view that the evolutionary lineage that led to people arose in Africa.  So their now claiming humanity originated in Bulgaria and not Africa?  Well, I guess it could have been worse, it could have been Cleveland.

 

T. rex Could Bite With the Force of Three Cars:  Further solidifying it’s reputation as the most fearsome of dinosaurs, scientists say when the fabled carnivorous dinosaur Tyrannosaurus rex took a bite, it did so with an awe-inspiring force equal to the weight of three small cars.  Which is why I’ve always carried a Tyrannosaurus rider with my car insurance policy.

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The post Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Researchers Say Dinosaurs Nearly Missed Surviving Extinction

Researchers Say Dinosaurs Nearly Missed Surviving Extinction:  An international team of researchers claim that had the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs slammed into the planet just a few minutes earlier or later, it would have hit in the ocean and not had the devastating consequences it had for the beasts.  Scientists say a few minutes either way and the asteroid would have most likely instead struck downtown Cleveland – and not even the most ferocious of dinosaurs would have considered living anywhere near a disgusting hellhole like Cleveland.

 

Our Milky Way Said to Contain 160 Billion Planets:  A new statistical analysis based on a survey of millions of stars suggests that there’s at least 160 billion planets in our galaxy – the Milky Way.  Ironically, Milky Way candy bars are thought to contain at least 160 billion calories.

 

Basquiat Skull Painting Sells for $110.5 Million at Auction:  Joining the rarefied $100 million-plus club in a sales room punctuated by periodic gasps from the crowd, Jean-Michel Basquiat’s powerful 1982 painting of a skull brought $110.5 million at Sotheby’s, to become the sixth most expensive work ever sold at auction.  Are you kidding me – $110.5 million for a painting of a skull?  You’d think for that kind of dough, Sotheby’s could have at least sprung for some crossbones in the deal.

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The post Researchers Say Dinosaurs Nearly Missed Surviving Extinction appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size

 

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size:  According to a University of Michigan study, analyzed scans of people who’d spent long periods of time in space found the volume of grey matter in their brains had actually decreased.  In fact, one astronaut who’d spent a prolonged period of time on the International Space Station, was found to have lost so much brain matter that when he returned to Earth, he tried to convince NASA that the Earth was flat, the Apollo moon landing was faked and the 2016 Cleveland Browns were the greatest football team of all-time.

 

News Corp Announces Big Changes for Wall Street Journal:  In an attempt to be more supportive of the new administration, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp has decided to completely drop all business reporting in its Wall Street Journal in order to focus completely on the progress of President Trump’s beautiful new Mexican border wall – this dramatic move will include changing the paper’s historic name from the The Wall Street Journal to simply “The Wall Journal.”

 

Stores Pulling Nutella After Report Links It To Cancer:  Nutella, the popular hazelnut spread, is being removed from supermarket shelves around the world as a result of a report that suggested one of its main ingredients – palm oil – has been linked to cancer.  Makes sense to me!  I live in California where they have palm trees everywhere and there’s no question that some of the people living in California have cancer.

 

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The post Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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