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Trump Confirms US Will Quit Paris Agreement

Trump Confirms US Will Quit Paris Agreement:  Donald Trump has confirmed that he will withdraw the United States from the Paris Agreement on climate change, leaving the ranks of more than 190 nations committed to the international deal.  When asked to defend the move, President Trump said that while he thinks Paris Hilton is a lovely girl, the United States has no business entering into a climate agreement with her.  Mr Trump went on to add that he’s pretty sure he isn’t the first person who’s ever withdrawn from Paris Hilton a little early.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Jogger-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Jogger.jpg 481w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Woman Jogger Repeatedly Poops on Man’s Home:  A New Mexico man released a surveillance video hoping to identify the female jogger who has pooped next to his home at least four times since April and then goes on jogging.  Well, at least you can’t say people in the neighborhood don’t give a shit.

 

Huge Crack in Antarctica’s Largest Ice Shelf Nearing Breaking Point:  A massive crack in one of Antarctica’s largest floating ice shelves the size of Delaware has increased by a stunning 11 miles this past week and appears to be ready to break off.  All I can say is it’s a good thing Republicans have reassured us that global warming is a total hoax – otherwise, I’d be worried about something like a Delaware-sized ice shelf breaking off.  On the other hand, I’m sure Trump just figures if you can’t build a hotel or golf course on it, what the hell good is it anyway?  Besides, Trump’s closest advisors have assured him this crack is nothing but a fake – created by the crooked media who’ve gone and photoshopped Antarctica.

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The post Trump Confirms US Will Quit Paris Agreement appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Jeb Bush Urges Marching in the Streets Against Robots

Jeb Bush Urges Marching in the Streets Against Robots:  In a recent speech, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said millennials should be marching in the streets, demanding our educational system prepare students to compete with robots who will inevitably be taking most of our jobs in the future.  In response, millennials were like “can’t we just get the robots to do the marching for us?”

 

Dwarf Planet May Have More Freshwater Than Earth:  In a startling discovery, scientists say there’s good evidence that the dwarf planet Ceres, the largest object in the asteroid belt, may contain more freshwater than Earth.  In response, the chairman of President Trump’s Science Advisory Committee – Henry C. Higgenbottom – demanded to know why “if dwarfs have their own planet with all that water on it, are they still drinking up all of our water?”

 

Paris Hilton Concerned Plastic Bottles Destroying Our Planet:  Hotel Heiress and reality TV star Paris Hilton revealed she is moving from partying to philanthropy, as she begins crusading against plastic bottles, which she says are destroying the planet.  Wait a minute – a totally plastic person coming out against plastic bottles?  What the hell kind of world are we living in?  What’s next, David Duke complaining about “White Privilege?”

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The post Jeb Bush Urges Marching in the Streets Against Robots appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Scientists Find Unexpected Entanglement Origins in Photons

Scientists Find Unexpected Entanglement Origins in Photons:  Researchers have found that particles, once thought to have to originate from the same place, can actually come from different locations in the phenomena of “entanglement” – whereby particles can be separated by billions of light-years and be instantly affected by the quantum changes in one another.  Fine, but frankly at the moment – I’m more concerned about the “entanglement” of my frigg’n earphones than any proton particles.

 

UK Nursery Discovers Rare Carnivorous Plant Ate Bird:  A gardener at a popular UK nursery in Somerset thought he was working at a Little Shop of Horrors after discovering that one of his carnivorous pitcher plants had eaten a small bird.  All I can say is, its probably not a good idea to feed this plant Miracle-Gro.

 

Carl’s Jr. to Say Goodbye to Sexy Burger Ads:  Carl’s Jr. has decided to ax its racy, frat-boy hamburger commercials featuring barely dressed models and celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Charlotte McKinney – to put the focus more on food quality.  What scantily clad girls?  I just assumed people went to Carl’s Jr for the informative articles.  Makes sense though, because when people head over to Carl’s Jr, they’re thinking “food quality.”

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The post Scientists Find Unexpected Entanglement Origins in Photons appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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