Pippa Middleton Accused of Wearing a False Bottom:  Pippa Middleton, who became famous for her derrière at her sister’s royal wedding three years ago, is being accused by an etiquette expert from Monaco of wearing a “false bottom” at that wedding.  One can only hope that somehow, we’ll eventually be able to get to the bottom of this.

Australian Passenger Mistakes Cockpit Door for Toilet:  A drunken Australian passenger had to be restrained and then arrested after he mistook the cockpit door for the toilet on a Virgin Australia flight, triggering a hijack scare.  As bad as that sounds, its still a lot better than the pilot mistaking the bathroom for the cockpit.  Passengers who witnessed the fracas say he created a big stink.

Manhattanite To Be Honored at Icelandic Penis Museum:  New York resident Jonah Falcon, who became a big internet celebrity after a documentary determined that his 13.5-inch penis is the largest ever measured, has agreed to allow his penis to be displayed after his death at the Icelandic Phallological Museum, also know as the Icelandic Penis Museum.  His penis is so large, the government has listed it in the “too big to fail” category, although some are insisting that those measurements may be “inflated.”  One thing’s for sure, after all this fame, he’s gonna be forced to make some hard career choices.  Biblical Scholars are quick to point out that this Jonah shouldn’t be confused with the Jonah in the Old Testament story  “Jonah and the Whale.”

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