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China Stripped of Medal

China's gymnastic team has been stripped of its bronze medal from the 2000 Olympics for using an underage girl. In related news, Ben Roethlisberger is moving to China.

Steve Hofstetter's National Lampoon Sports Minute

Steve Hofstetter's National Lampoon Sports Minute

"We're nuts about balls!"
Montclair, NJ

Sports Minute is edited by Steve Hofstetter

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Yankees Are Tops

A survey says the Yankees are the best paid figures in sports. They're followed closely by the Mavericks, the Lakers and the women Ben Roethlisberger pays to stay quiet.

Steve Hofstetter's National Lampoon Sports Minute

Steve Hofstetter's National Lampoon Sports Minute

"We're nuts about balls!"
Montclair, NJ

Sports Minute is edited by Steve Hofstetter

Elon Musk Unveils Plan to Colonize Mars

elon-muskElon Musk Unveils Plan to Colonize Mars:  Billionaire tech entrepreneur Elon Musk has finally unveiled his hotly-anticipated plan to send humans to live on Mars.  I may not be the visionary Elon Musk is – but frankly, I don’t get it.  I mean, if someone has their heart set on living in an inhospitable environment where there is no cultural life, no breathable air and probably no potable water, why not just move to Flint, Michigan or Cleveland?

 

killersStudy Suggests Humans Predisposed to Murder:  New research out of Spain suggest that humans are predisposed to murder each other, but it still remains unclear whether it’s because of genetics or if other factors are involved.  To prevent further violence, researchers suggest that everyone immediately go to the nearest police station and turn themselves in.

 

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Eagles Carson Wentz Named NFC Offensive Player of the Week:  After his stellar performance against the Steelers in which he completed 23 of 31 attempts for 301 yards and two touchdowns in a 34-3 win, Philadelphia Eagles star rookie Carson Wentz has been named the NFC Offensive Player of the Week.  I don’t get it, what’s so offensive about that?

 

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

NFL Silent About New Case of Under-Inflated Footballs

NFL Silent About New Case of Under-Inflated Footballs:  The New York Giants say they tested the air pressure in two footballs they captured during their recent game against the Pittsburgh Steelers and reported them to league officials as being below the permissible range of 12.5 PSI.  Geez, if this deflated air situation gets any worse up, the NFL is gonna need to replace all the referees with physicists.  Where’s Neil deGrasse Tyson when you need him?  Meanwhile, Giants’ fans are demanding it’s time to clear the air – wondering if the NFL really has the “balls” to go after the Steelers.  Personally, I don’t think the NFL is trying to protect the Steelers, I just think its too much of a hassle to try and spell a name like Roethlisberger on an indictment.

 

Retired Doctor Unearths Lost Da Vinci Drawing Worth $16 Million:  A French auction house announced the discovery of what is believed to be a long-lost drawing of Saint Sebastian by Italian Renaissance master Leonardo da Vinci, which was discovered by a retired doctor and is valued at nearly $16 million.  Sources say the doctor was philosophical about finding the sketch, chalking it all up to the “luck of the draw.”

 

Trump Names Exxon CEO Tillerson as Secretary of State:  President-elect Donald J. Trump has decided upon Exxon Mobile chief executive Rex Tillerson to be the next secretary of state, dismissing bipartisan concerns that the globe-trotting CEO has forged too-cozy a relationship with Vladimir V. Putin.  In fact, when asked if he enjoys a really close relationship with the Russians, Tillerson responded “you’re darned Putin I do.”  My question for him would be, because his name is “Rex Tillerson,” should we call him T-Rex for short?

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The post NFL Silent About New Case of Under-Inflated Footballs appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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