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White House May Appoint Legal Team To Monitor Trump Tweets

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Donald-Trump-300x... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Donald-Trump.png 350w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />White House May Appoint Legal Team To Monitor Trump Tweets:  According to The Wall Street Journal, the White House is considering appointing a legal team to police President Trump’s infamous social media posts as numerous investigations are being launched into White House officials.  Yea, and while they’re at it, they might wanna think about adding a few psychiatrists to that team also.

 

Russians Grow Synthetic Voiceboxes for Human Patients:  Doctors in Russia say they have just transplanted the first synthetic voiceboxes into two human patients.  Yea, and if the surgery doesn’t work, good luck trying say anything to complain about it.

 

Two South Carolina Men Forced Alligator to Drink Beer:  Authorities say two South Carolina men face harassment charges after pictures surfaced on social media showing them pouring beer down the throat of an alligator.  Local Humane Society officials report that the gator is doing fine and is now in a 12-step program designed especially for crocodilians and, with the help of the program, will take his 90-day sobriety chip in about a week.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound

Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound:  A new survey found that nearly 56,000 bridges across the nation are “structurally deficient” and need replaced.  I’m doing my part, next Monday I’m having my dentist replace a bridge in my upper right jaw that’s over 15 years old.

 

Life Forms 50,000 Years Old Found in Mexican Caves:  Scientists have what they describe as ancient microbial life forms trapped in crystals inside a Mexican cave that are thought to be 50,000 years old.  During his latest press conference, President Trump told reporters he is aware of the microbes discovery and promised to do everything in his power as president to prevent them from entering the country illegally.

 

Russian Family Criticized for Getting Pet Dog Plastic Surgery:  A Russian family is being slammed after paying to get their dog plastic surgery so it would look more like the dog in the Jim Carrey film “The Mask.”   I suppose about the only positive thing you can say about this situation is that at least the family didn’t insist that their poor dog look like Putin.

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The post Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un

North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un:  North Korea is accusing the CIA  and South Korea of attempting to assassinate Kim Jong-un with unspecified biochemical substances during a public ceremonial event in the capital of Pyongyang.  Hell, no need to send someone to assassinate Kim.  Just book him on a United flight.

 

Study Finds Botox Could Help Treat Depression:  A California study found those who used the anti-wrinkle agent Botox had lower rates of depression.  One thing’s for sure, you’re never gonna be able to tell if they’re depressed by the expression on their face.

 

Music Teacher Caught Selling Tubas for Heroin:  A Nunda, N.Y. music teacher pulled over by police with a tuba in her backseat admitted to stealing more than 50 instruments from her school district and selling them to buy heroin.  Wow, this woman’s life has gone right down the tubas.  Now, she’ll have to face the music.

 

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Texas Police Seize 600 Pounds of Meth-Laced Lollipops

Texas Police Seize 600 Pounds of Meth-Laced Lollipops:  Texas Police, investigating a reported burglary, have seized almost $1 million worth of methamphetamine-laced lollipops.  Let’s hope these lollipops are sugarless, because everyone knows that both meth and candy are bad for your teeth.  The way I see it, meth addicts have enough problems, the last thing they need is to destroy their beautiful teeth.

 

Founder of Breast Implant Firm Guilty of Fraud:  The founder of a French company that used an unapproved gel in its breast implants has been found guilty of fraud.  On the other hand, I suppose it could be argued that anyone who makes fake breasts is guilty of fraud on some level.

 

Michigan Woman Loses Teeth to Tea Addiction:  The New England Journal of Medicine is reporting that a 47-year-old Michigan woman has lost teeth after decades of consuming “astronomical amounts” of highly concentrated tea.  My question is, if you’re gonna abuse a substance, who the hell would choose frigg’n tea?  On a positive note, doctors say this poses no real threat to Tea Party members given that so few of them have very many teeth anyway.

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The post Texas Police Seize 600 Pounds of Meth-Laced Lollipops appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn

Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn:  Southwestern Michigan authorities say a doctor may have endangered patients and the public by performing liposuctions in a pole barn.  So for those of you in Southwestern Michigan, if anyone ever utters a snide remark to you like “close the door, were you born in a barn?” – just tell them “no, but I once had liposuction in one.”

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Hobbits-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Hobbits-768x768.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Hobbits.jpg 835w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Tiny Hobbit People Were Actually Separate Species:  Researchers say the tiny 3-foot-tall hobbit people who lived in Indonesia hundreds of thousands of years ago, weren’t simply shrunken versions of modern humans as researchers had previously thought, but were actually a far more primitive sister species of Homo habilis, which lived in Africa 1.7 million years ago.  Anthropologists say this definitively proves Randy Newman was right all along.

 

Romanian Scientists Produce Artificial Blood Product:   A Romanian doctor announced that he and a team of colleagues have made a potentially life-saving stride for medicine, following a successful round of testing an artificial blood product they’ve devoted the last six years of their lives to developing.  Gee, I hate to sound cynical, but Romania is where Transylvania is located.  I mean, is anyone really surprised a “scientist” from Transylvania would devote so much bloody time trying to increase the blood supply?

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The post Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Pet Rats Linked to Seoul Virus Outbreak

Pet Rats Linked to Seoul Virus Outbreak:  The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed Friday that pet rats are the source of an outbreak of Seoul virus infections in Illinois and Wisconsin.  Local media reports the virus outbreak has led some rat owners to verbally abuse their pets, with some going so far as to call them horrible, hurtful names like “you dirty rats!”

 

Iowa to Allow Blind People to Carry Guns in Public:  Iowa has passed legislation which will allow blind residents to acquire guns and to carry these firearms in public.  While it seems a bit unsettling, I suppose its less dangerous than allowing “blond people” to carry firearms.  Personally, I have no issue with blind people firing a gun, its just the aiming I’m a little concerned about.

 

New Report on iPhone 8’s Facial Recognition Feature:  A new report has surfaced indicating that Apple’s next-gen iPhone may include an advanced form of facial recognition technology, capable of even discerning specific emotional states.  In addition, Apple is reportedly planning to issue a disclaimer – cautioning Hollywood celebrities that their facelifts and botox treatments could very well render their phone’s facial recognition features completely useless.

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The post Pet Rats Linked to Seoul Virus Outbreak appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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