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Pics Show Contrast of Madonna’s Youngish Face and Aging Hands

aging-handsPics Show Contrast of Madonna’s Youngish Face and Aging Hands:  Several news outlets have been pointing out the obvious contrast between pop icon Madonna’s youngish face and what appears to be her aging hands in a recently published pic.  Well, she’s obviously had a facelift and a boob job, perhaps its time for a hand job.     

 

pepper-sprayPepper Spray Inventor Unhappy With Its Use as Offense Weapon:  Inventor Kamran Logman, says he created pepper spray to prevent imminent injury, but over the last decade the spray has been frequently misused as an offensive weapon.  Logman says perhaps the cruelest use of his invention is the new “salt and pepper spray,” which, when used against beautiful, young politically active actors and actresses, can instantly turn them into middle-aged looking men and women with gray hair.

 

breast-augmentationBreast Augmentation Market Grows From High Tech Innovations:  Led by new innovations such as apps which show patients how different styles of implants would look on them, adjustable size implants in case of buyer’s remorse and 3-D printed nipples made from skin cells, the breast implant market is expected to grow a whopping 10.8% per year through 2020.  Analysts say the market has already grown two full cup sizes this year alone.  That said, investors are cautioned that breast augmentation will always be a boom or bust industry.

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The post Pics Show Contrast of Madonna’s Youngish Face and Aging Hands appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

White House May Appoint Legal Team To Monitor Trump Tweets

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Donald-Trump-300x... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Donald-Trump.png 350w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />White House May Appoint Legal Team To Monitor Trump Tweets:  According to The Wall Street Journal, the White House is considering appointing a legal team to police President Trump’s infamous social media posts as numerous investigations are being launched into White House officials.  Yea, and while they’re at it, they might wanna think about adding a few psychiatrists to that team also.

 

Russians Grow Synthetic Voiceboxes for Human Patients:  Doctors in Russia say they have just transplanted the first synthetic voiceboxes into two human patients.  Yea, and if the surgery doesn’t work, good luck trying say anything to complain about it.

 

Two South Carolina Men Forced Alligator to Drink Beer:  Authorities say two South Carolina men face harassment charges after pictures surfaced on social media showing them pouring beer down the throat of an alligator.  Local Humane Society officials report that the gator is doing fine and is now in a 12-step program designed especially for crocodilians and, with the help of the program, will take his 90-day sobriety chip in about a week.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Suggests Hillary On Performance-Enhancing Drugs

donald-trumpTrump Suggests Hillary On Performance-Enhancing Drugs:  During a recent rally in Portsmouth, Donald Trump suggested that Hillary Clinton may have taken “performance-enhancing drugs” before the last presidential debate.

 

At first I laughed at the idea of Hillary on performance-enhancing drugs, but then it occurred to me that Trump may have just provided us with the first logical explanation as to how she was able to win the 100-meter sprints in the Rio this past summer!

 

But come on, a guy with constant cocaine sniffles and mob ties complaining about his opponent using performance-enhancing drugs?  My question is, if Clinton is doping, how come its always Trump who comes out sounding like a dope?

 

Its starting to look as if the entire Trump campaign is quickly deflating – you know – kind of like one of his trophy wives without a boob job.  And after being abandoned by much of the Republican establishment, Trump made a grand announcement that he has finally become “unshackled,” although some might argue that a more accurate term would probably be “unhinged.”

 

Meanwhile, rumor has it that about the only Republican bigwig left who’s secretly hoping for a Trump victory in November is former President George W Bush – and that’s only because he’s hoping that when someone does a Google search for the “the Dumbest American President ever,” his name will no longer appear at the top of the list.

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The post Trump Suggests Hillary On Performance-Enhancing Drugs appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound

Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound:  A new survey found that nearly 56,000 bridges across the nation are “structurally deficient” and need replaced.  I’m doing my part, next Monday I’m having my dentist replace a bridge in my upper right jaw that’s over 15 years old.

 

Life Forms 50,000 Years Old Found in Mexican Caves:  Scientists have what they describe as ancient microbial life forms trapped in crystals inside a Mexican cave that are thought to be 50,000 years old.  During his latest press conference, President Trump told reporters he is aware of the microbes discovery and promised to do everything in his power as president to prevent them from entering the country illegally.

 

Russian Family Criticized for Getting Pet Dog Plastic Surgery:  A Russian family is being slammed after paying to get their dog plastic surgery so it would look more like the dog in the Jim Carrey film “The Mask.”   I suppose about the only positive thing you can say about this situation is that at least the family didn’t insist that their poor dog look like Putin.

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The post Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un

North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un:  North Korea is accusing the CIA  and South Korea of attempting to assassinate Kim Jong-un with unspecified biochemical substances during a public ceremonial event in the capital of Pyongyang.  Hell, no need to send someone to assassinate Kim.  Just book him on a United flight.

 

Study Finds Botox Could Help Treat Depression:  A California study found those who used the anti-wrinkle agent Botox had lower rates of depression.  One thing’s for sure, you’re never gonna be able to tell if they’re depressed by the expression on their face.

 

Music Teacher Caught Selling Tubas for Heroin:  A Nunda, N.Y. music teacher pulled over by police with a tuba in her backseat admitted to stealing more than 50 instruments from her school district and selling them to buy heroin.  Wow, this woman’s life has gone right down the tubas.  Now, she’ll have to face the music.

 

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The post North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Texas Police Seize 600 Pounds of Meth-Laced Lollipops

Texas Police Seize 600 Pounds of Meth-Laced Lollipops:  Texas Police, investigating a reported burglary, have seized almost $1 million worth of methamphetamine-laced lollipops.  Let’s hope these lollipops are sugarless, because everyone knows that both meth and candy are bad for your teeth.  The way I see it, meth addicts have enough problems, the last thing they need is to destroy their beautiful teeth.

 

Founder of Breast Implant Firm Guilty of Fraud:  The founder of a French company that used an unapproved gel in its breast implants has been found guilty of fraud.  On the other hand, I suppose it could be argued that anyone who makes fake breasts is guilty of fraud on some level.

 

Michigan Woman Loses Teeth to Tea Addiction:  The New England Journal of Medicine is reporting that a 47-year-old Michigan woman has lost teeth after decades of consuming “astronomical amounts” of highly concentrated tea.  My question is, if you’re gonna abuse a substance, who the hell would choose frigg’n tea?  On a positive note, doctors say this poses no real threat to Tea Party members given that so few of them have very many teeth anyway.

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The post Texas Police Seize 600 Pounds of Meth-Laced Lollipops appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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