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Ex-Anheuser-Busch CEO Arrested Trying To Fly Helicopter Intoxicated

Ex-Anheuser-Busch CEO Arrested Trying To Fly Helicopter Intoxicated:  The former CEO of Anheuser-Busch, August Adolphus Busch IV, was arrested after he landed a helicopter in an Illinois business park and returned, appearing too intoxicated to take off.  Police say he also had drugs and guns in the chopper.  Hell, doesn’t he have anything to drink at home?  Good thing they caught him before he did something stupid like hold up a liquor store.

 

Florida Teen Kills Mom and Cripples Dad:  A 16-year-old Alabama teenager will be tried as an adult for allegedly stabbing his mother to death and leaving his father paralyzed with a punctured lung, a day before he was scheduled to begin taking anger management classes.  Well, I guess the best we can hope for at this point is that the poor father will be able to get a refund back on those anger management classes his son will no longer be in a position to be attending.

 

Earth’s Sixth Mass Extinction Event Under Way:  Many scientists say a “biological annihilation” with billions of populations of animals being lost in recent decades means the sixth mass extinction in Earth’s history is well under way and is more severe than previously feared.  Meanwhile, Trump Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke deputes this scenario and points out what’s really going on here is that God’s really pissed at the gays and if we just quit forcing people to bake them cakes, everything will be just fine.

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The post Ex-Anheuser-Busch CEO Arrested Trying To Fly Helicopter Intoxicated appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself

Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself:  News that Donald Trump and his lawyers are musing about the possibility of the President pardoning his family and himself to insulate them from any potential charges of wrongdoing related to the 2016 election has worked up many into a fury.  I beg your pardon – they’re considering what?  Frankly, sometimes I wish this family of grifters would just grab all the silverware and free souvenir pens and run away to Russia in the middle of the night.

 

Trump Names Anti-Science Radio Host as Chief Scientist:  President Trump has just nominated climate change skeptic and right-wing talk radio host Sam Clovis to serve as the Department of Agriculture’s chief scientist – a slap in the face to the scientific community and those responsible for the integrity of the USDA’s research.  Great, now about the only thing Mr Trump has left to do is appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court and Rush Limbaugh to head up the FDA Opioids Action Plan.  That should pretty much keep us all moving right along up that proverbial creek.

 

Catholic Church Bans Gluten-Free Communion Wafers:  A recent letter from the Vatican reminded the world’s Catholic bishops of a rule mandating wheat gluten be in the communion wafers used in the celebration of Mass by Catholics.  Wait a minute, the church is insisting communion wafers have gluten in them?  I thought “gluteny” was a sin.

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The post Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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