by Hayden Black
by Michael Blackman
by Erik Bransteen
by Alex Kaseberg
by Janice Hough
by Emily Rosenberg
by Johnny Robish
http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Ryan-Zinke.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Administration Defends Spending $139,000 on Zinke’s Door: The Trump administration is yet again defending a senior official’s spending after it emerged the Department of the Interior spent nearly $139,000 on upgrading Secretary Ryan Zinke’s office door. Yea, well maybe its time we show him the door. Meanwhile, angry taxpayer organizations complained that $139,000 is money that could have been used for something worthwhile – you know, like paying off a porn star.
http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Milwaukee-Teens-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Milwaukee-Teens.jpg 931w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Milwaukee Teens Testing Positive for HIV and Syphilis in Large Numbers: At least 125 people in Milwaukee – including scores of high school kids – have been infected with HIV and syphilis, or both in one of the biggest outbreaks ever reported in the city. Wow, sounds like Milwaukee kids are sure doing their best to keep up with the Kardashians.
http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Scales-768x510.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Scales.jpg 1023w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />NJ Judge Rules Waitresses Can Be Fired For Gaining Weight: Casino waitresses are effectively “sex objects” and can be fired for putting on too much weight, according to a ruling by an Atlantic County Superior Court judge in New Jersey. Critics argue that rulings like this are precisely why Chris Christie has never able to fulfill his dream of becoming a casino waitress.
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Trump Challenges Secretary Tillerson to IQ Test: After reports surfaced that he referred to President Trump as an “f-ing moron,” President Donald Trump challenged Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to an “IQ test” while talking to a reporter at the White House. I don’t know about the President being a moron, but I do think the fact that he spelled IQ correctly ought to count for something. Just ask yourself, how many people in Nambia can do that?
Interior Sec Zinke Worried About Removing Confederate Statues: In a recent Breitbart interview, Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke warned that if the country begins to remove all the Confederate statues, pretty soon “Native Indians” will want the statues of anti-indigenous Union generals removed too. I see his point. As Interior Secretary, he’s probably concerned that if we remove all the statues, where’s that gonna leave the pigeons?
Ditka Claims He Knows of No Oppression in US for Last Hundred Years: In response to NFL players kneeling during the national anthem, former Chicago Bears star and coach Mike Ditka claimed there has been no oppression he knows about in this country for the last hundred years. Perhaps someone ought to mention to him that oppression doesn’t typically happen in neighborhoods dotted with five and ten million dollar homes.
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Man Gets Bitten on Face Trying to Barbecue Rattlesnake: Upon seeing a rattlesnake slither into the birthday BBQ he was hosting in his yard, a 48-year-old Arizona man named Victor Pratt decided to impress his guests on how to catch and cook a rattlesnake, but lost his grip while playing with the snake and got bitten on his neck and face. Gee, playing with the snake before trying to grill it? Makes you wonder, didn’t his mother ever warn him you’re not supposed to play with your food? All I can say is – keep this nonsense up and there won’t be anyone left to vote for President Trump next election.
Beijing Using Facial Recognition to Ration Sheets of Toilet Paper: Beijing’s parks, desperate to combat a huge toilet paper theft problem, are installing facial recognition dispensers that rations the sheets. Wow, that would certainly limit how many times someone could take a sheet in one of their restrooms.
Trump Interior Dept Calls for Developing National Monuments: Trump Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke is creating quite the controversy after calling for changes to the management of 10 national monuments that would lift restrictions on activities such as logging and mining and shrink at least four of those sites substantially. Yea well, what else do you expect from a President who’d think he was in the wilderness if he walked past the sporting goods section inside a Target store?
Trump Interior Secretary Recommending Shrinking National Monuments: In a highly controversial move ordered by the White House, Trump Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke will seek to shrink more that 27 designated National Monument sites throughout the United States. Yea, and something tells me its a pretty safe bet to assume that that monument shrink list isn’t likely to include many Confederate monuments.
Powerball Winner Claims $758m and Immediately Quits Job: Mavis Wanczyk, the woman who just won the $759 million Powerball lottery, immediately quit her job at a Massachusetts medical center where she had worked for 32 years, saying that now that she won, she just wants to “be alone and just be able to be me.” And, what a better way to “just be me” then quit your job and blast off on a spectacular spending spree – gobbling up scores of houses, cars, jewelry, exotic vacations and other very expensive goodies that she knows all her friends and family could never afford. Whoever said life isn’t fair?
Uranus Likely Full of Giant Diamonds: Scientists believe that when it rains on a massive planet like Uranus, which has a relatively tiny rocky core and a mantle consisting of slurried water, ammonia, methane ices and a thick atmosphere – it literally rains diamonds. Well, I guess that pretty much explains why the planet has rings – otherwise, what’s the point of having all those diamonds laying around? One thing’s for sure, if you’re low on cash, this place sounds like the perfect place to get engaged.
