by Jeff Dwoskin

Area 51 is a secret condo development
#WhatTheyDontWantUsToKnow

Apr 30th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Emanuel Zbeda

#Fake1990sFacts Kurt Cobain's death in 1991 was staged by Walt Disney, who cryogenically preserved the singer underneath Area 51

Mar 6th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Warren Holstein

Hillary Clinton vows she'll release information about Area 51 as president. We might finally learn what orange planet Donald Trump is from.

May 12th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Erik Bransteen

Trump wins Nevada Caucus.
Apparently his promise to build a wall around Area 51 resonated with Nevada's large anti-alien populace.

Feb 24th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Jeff Dwoskin

CIA released documents today, turns out Area 51 was just a laundromat. No cover up. Move on.

Aug 16th, 2013 via twitter

by Steve Hofstetter

Eva Longoria will get everything in the divorce. Not because Tony Parker cheated, but he's French so he'll surrender.

Nov 19th, 2010 via twitter

by Bob Phillips

My Roomba looks on menacingly as I traverse the kitchen. It jukes me & pulls a Manu Ginobili ankle breaker fake. I'm Will Smith in I Robot.

Mar 12th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Bob Phillips

Stephen Hawking fears messages sent into space could "spur aggressive actions by alien races." Real statement. I need to cry and hide now.

Jul 20th, 2015 via twitter

by Barry Laminack

Just watched a video of #TimDuncan's 10 best career highlights.

It was 9 lay-ups and a bank shot from 3ft.

Jul 12th, 2016 via twitter

by Tim has issues

#FoundInArea51 The remaining 8 seasons of #Firefly that were never released

Apr 1st, 2017 via twitter

by Man-sized Thumbs

San Antonio Bone Spurs

#ElderlyNBA @midnight

Jun 5th, 2014 via twitter

by Lee Mays

The government has declassified Area 51, which will now be The History Channel's new headquarters.

Aug 16th, 2013 via twitterStaff Pick