Australia’s Buff Kangaroo Is Back Showing-Off His Big Guns Again: Visitors are reporting that Roger, the super-muscular marsupial, who bounced to international fame last year after being discovered living in an kangaroo sanctuary in northern Australia, has emerged from his summer break looking more buff than ever.
Good grief, can this be real? This animal looks as if he’s been nosing around in Peyton Manning’s trash cans. Just what we need, “Roo’s on Roids.” I’ve seen videos of monkeys drinking and smoking, but I’ve never seen a kangaroo on steroids before. Rumor has it Lance Armstrong is his personal trainer. Meanwhile, Gold’s Gym has been trying to recruit him as their spokeskangaroo. Funny to think that one-day all those bodybuilders at Gold’s could end-up suffering from a serious case of “marsupial-envy.” Personally, I don’t like be critical – but while Roger’s upper torso may look great – it does appear he may have been skipping-out on his leg workouts though.
And while I’m sure the sanctuary treats him well, its pretty obvious he’d be more at home in Jurassic Park than some damn Australian kangaroo sanctuary. I mean, is this the perfect pet for Barry Bonds or what? All I know is, if this guy ever gets busted for illegal performance enhancing drugs, I don’t wanna be his cellmate. That said, and to be completely fair, Roger is vehemently denying any doping allegations. Hell, a friend of mine even wanted to know if he could hire Roger to beat up his ex-mother-in-law.
On the other hand, if it were up to me, I’d put a helmut on him and let him play in the backfield for Denver this Sunday. Of course I suppose that would mean he’d end up having all the Kardashians chasing after him. Anyway, all joking aside, I have a very strong feeling that one day Roger may end up becoming governor of California.
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