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First Skydiver to Successfully Jump Without Parachute

Luke AikinsFirst Skydiver to Successfully Jump Without Parachute:  A skydiver named Luke Aikins became the first person to successfully skydive without a parachute, jumping from a plane at 25,000 feet above Simi Valley, California and landing perfectly on a 100-by-100-foot net, in an event which was broadcast live over the Fox Network.


Not really surprised its was broadcast on Fox.  Events like this help them move ever closer to their cherished goal of pay per view executions.  It’s been rumored that, beforehand, Fox executives assured Aikins that a jump like this was completely safe – I guess some guys will “fall” for anything.  Besides, had anything gone wrong, Fox would simply blamed Obama.  Its a total win-win either way.  One thing’s for sure, this is where the old phrase “look before you leap” really comes in handy, especially when you’re gonna be leaping without a parachute.


Now I suppose my first question to all this would simply be – why?  Did Employment Development tell him he had to widen the net regarding his search for employment?  Did someone tell him to “go take a flying leap?”  Perhaps he’s just a guy who gets bored easily, or maybe he’s just trying to make a good impression on someone.  Either way, I’m guessing his life insurance policy probably doesn’t cover this.  As they say, “if at first you don’t succeed, then that’s it for skydiving.”


Online, many of Aikins diehard daredevil fans say had he packed the emergency parachute which was recommended, he’d have been nothing but a big chicken – which further confuses non-skydivers like myself because I’ve never seen chickens wear parachutes.  Hell, you’d think he’d at least consider using an umbrella – it seemed to have worked quite well in Mary Poppins – so its obviously got a proven track record.


Ironically, when asked if he was nervous about the jump, he told reporters “if I wasn’t nervous, I would be stupid.”  My answer to that is “no sir, you’re already stupid – but you’re nervous also.”  I mean, just think about it, one fart and he could blow himself way off course.  Call me a killjoy, but a stunt like this just seems like a slow, inefficient and rather expensive way to kill people off.  And while I’m no risk assessor, it just seems like the NRA’s method is much more effective.

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The post First Skydiver to Successfully Jump Without Parachute appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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