Today we have a change in direction from our normal story. Whenever we write a story for The Daily Skid we do research to ensure that it is not true, something most satire writers do. Last week while preparing for a story, our investigations led us to a somewhat frightening discovery. Today we can exclusively reveal those findings in our first ever true story on The Daily Skid.
We intended to write a story that would combine the scientific world and the world of science fiction, a story that would insinuate that the age-old myth about vampires was actually true. Of course, everyone knows that they are confined to the world of movies and television, so we assumed we would be safe and not find any truth in our research. Little did we suspect what we were about to uncover. So in place of our normal satire story today, these are the shocking findings by our research team.
In 2005 it was announced that a team of scientists from Newcastle University had managed to clone a human embryo (see story – click here), with the aim of helping to fight human diseases. In January 2014 the same team joined with a number of top South Korean scientists to look at how to resolve severe hearing problems in humans. They decided to attempt to extract some DNA from a bat, in the knowledge that bats have exceptional hearing. Having managed to extract the DNA via the bats’ blood they then injected this into ten subjects (paid under a health testing scheme), with the intention of seeing if their hearing would improve. All ten subjects had differing levels of hearing difficulty, from the need for grommets to complete deafness. The experiment seemingly went well in the first week, with some improvements to hearing. This gave the scientists great hope and belief so they injected the subjects with a little more bat DNA to speed up the healing. This is when problems started to occur.
The bat used was a ‘Desmodus Rotundus’, otherwise known as a ‘Vampire Bat’. No-one in the scientific team suspected that this would cause a problem, however they were wrong. On the tenth day some of the people injected began to be affected by sunlight and would try to sleep during the day; others became weak, showing symptoms described as similar to that of an alcoholic going ‘cold turkey’. On the fourteenth day, two members of the scientific team were in the secure ward at the university and were attacked by one of the human subjects; they were found with teeth marks on their wrists. These teeth marks were consistent with larger-than-average canine teeth, however none of the subjects had teeth to match. It was decided that they would have to keep the subjects under lock and key to be monitored until a resolution could be found. The only issue was, one subject had disappeared the previous night. After hours of searching by university security and the police, the man could not be found and unfortunately there was no sign of him on CCTV.
Following observation it was found that half of those injected had reacted badly to the experiment. These five men would occasionally get aggressive and show expanded canine teeth that would soon disappear. Unfortunately, all five men died in the following days. There is one problem though: one man managed to get out and is now at large. There have been 26 murders in the last two weeks across Britain that match the death of the scientists at the university. Police are now eager to catch this man before he attacks again.
We would advise everyone to be on their guard and to not go out at night. Do not invite strangers into your house and do not speak to strangers.
Experts have stressed that this is not a supernatural occurrence. It is, however, an experiment that has clearly gone horribly wrong. Take care out there, and report anything suspicious.