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Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions

Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions:  Amid reports that Attorney General Jeff Sessions had talks with Russia’s ambassador to the U.S. without disclosing it during his confirmation hearing, President Donald Trump said he wants to make it perfectly clear that he has “total confidence” in the Attorney General.  To further reinforce the point, an Administration spokesperson added that “not only does our President have the upmost confidence in Sessions, so does Russian President Vladimir Putin.”

 

NASA Considers Magnetic Shield to Help Mars Grow an Atmosphere:  NASA Planetary Science Division Director Jim Green says the agency is considering launching a magnetic shield towards Mars which could help warm the red planet and possibly allow it to become more habitable.  NASA says they believe the least costly way to accomplish this would most likely be to launch tens of thousands of refrigerators with magnets already attached to the doors in a massive rocket which would then robotically unload and set them upright on the surface of the red planet.  An added benefit would be notes could be attached under the magnets on the refrigerator doors which could provide future colonizers with useful and fun facts about the red planet once the planet became habitable again.

 

Caterpillar Headquarters Raided by the Feds:  Caterpillar has confirmed that Federal agents arrived at their global headquarters and began seizing documents and electronic records concerning its relationships with U.S. and non-U.S. subsidiaries.  Federal agents report no one at Caterpillar would talk to them during the raid prompting agents to ask “what’s the matter, Cat’s got your tongue?”  Anyway, its kind of sad to see this happen to such an iconic company so Deere to all of our hearts.

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The post Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

SpaceX Says Two People Already Paid Up for Future Moon Mission

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Mission-to-Moon-3... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Mission-to-Moon.jpg 512w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />SpaceX Says Two People Already Paid Up for Future Moon Mission:  SpaceX CEO Elon Musk just revealed that two people have paid for a private mission around the moon in the company’s as yet untested Falcon Heavy rocket.  A spokesperson for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is denying that its them who’s paying for Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty to make the trip.

 

Oscars Post Wrong Pic in Memorial Tribute:  During the “In Memoriam” tribute to industry artists who passed away during the past year, the death of an Australian costume designer Janet Patterson was noted, but the picture posted onscreen was really that of a very much alive Australian film producer Jan Chapman.  An Oscar telecast spokesperson explained the mistake by pointing out that while producer Jan Chapman didn’t actually pass away in 2016, she did pass a lot of gas during the year.

 

Chicken at Subway Contains Only 50% Chicken DNA:  Researchers say new tests show the chicken meat served at Subway restaurants contain only about 50 percent chicken DNA, with scientists reporting they are not yet certain what the other contents may be – possibly tofu.  Well, they do say chickens are descended from the dinosaurs, so my guess is its tyrannosaurs.  Meanwhile, a spokesperson for evangelist Franklin Graham claims its all a conspiracy to replace chicken with tofu in a sinister attempt to turn all of America gay!

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The post SpaceX Says Two People Already Paid Up for Future Moon Mission appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Jeb Bush Urges Marching in the Streets Against Robots

Jeb Bush Urges Marching in the Streets Against Robots:  In a recent speech, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said millennials should be marching in the streets, demanding our educational system prepare students to compete with robots who will inevitably be taking most of our jobs in the future.  In response, millennials were like “can’t we just get the robots to do the marching for us?”

 

Dwarf Planet May Have More Freshwater Than Earth:  In a startling discovery, scientists say there’s good evidence that the dwarf planet Ceres, the largest object in the asteroid belt, may contain more freshwater than Earth.  In response, the chairman of President Trump’s Science Advisory Committee – Henry C. Higgenbottom – demanded to know why “if dwarfs have their own planet with all that water on it, are they still drinking up all of our water?”

 

Paris Hilton Concerned Plastic Bottles Destroying Our Planet:  Hotel Heiress and reality TV star Paris Hilton revealed she is moving from partying to philanthropy, as she begins crusading against plastic bottles, which she says are destroying the planet.  Wait a minute – a totally plastic person coming out against plastic bottles?  What the hell kind of world are we living in?  What’s next, David Duke complaining about “White Privilege?”

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The post Jeb Bush Urges Marching in the Streets Against Robots appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii

Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii:  US Attorney General Jeff Sessions set off a firestorm after issuing an insulting dismissal of America’s 50th state, expressing astonishment that a judge “who sits on an island in the Pacific” could dare hold up American President Trump’s travel ban – making some wonder if he was even aware that Hawaii is a state.  Sure, Hawaii has been a state since 1959, but in Sessions’ defense, he’s still living in the year 1950.  That said, Hawaii shouldn’t take it too personally, Sessions doesn’t recognize any states which were added after the Missouri Compromise.  And on a positive note, at least he had the ocean correct.

 

Newly Discovered Exoplanet May Be Best Candidate for Life:  Scientists say a newly discovered exoplanet, some 40 light-years from Earth, may be the best place to look for signs of life outside our Solar System.  Uh oh, space aliens just 40 light-years away?  Sounds like the Trump Administration may need a bigger wall.

 

Lawsuit Claims Bose Headphones Spying on Customers:  An Illinois man has filed a class-action lawsuit, accusing high-end audio equipment maker Bose of spying on its users and selling information about their playlists and listening habits without permission.  And who can blame him?  I mean, who wants the general public to know your favorite music group is The Village People?

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The post Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Sean Spicer Says You Can Trust Trump If He’s Not Joking

Sean Spicer Says You Can Trust Trump If He’s Not Joking:  Peter Alexander of NBC News asked White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer whether people should trust the president to tell the truth, to which Spicer said “yes they can, unless he’s joking.”  Which is kind of an interesting response considering that as far as I can tell, the whole Trump presidency is basically a joke.  Let’s put it this way, if Trump were Pinocchio, his nose would stretch all the way to the Kremlin.

 

Low-Flow Toilets Required In California:  Under a recently passed law, California will become the first state in the nation to require low-flow toilets in virtually all homes, apartment houses and businesses.  Meanwhile, those opposed to the measure ask just “how low can you flow?”

 

Massive Water Reservoir Found Circling Giant Quasar:  Astronomers have discovered a water reservoir containing 140 trillion times the amount of water in all the Earth’s oceans circling around a distant quasar, making it the largest mass of water ever detected in the universe.  Good grief, you’re telling me even quasars have to deal with water retention?  What’s next?  Do all these stars make my galaxy look too fat?

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The post Sean Spicer Says You Can Trust Trump If He’s Not Joking appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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