Tuesday , 22 May 2018
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

St. Louis Rams
  • 179 Jokes

How Recent: All Time
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Florida Lawmakers Find Porn More Dangerous Than Assault Weapons

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Florida-Students.jpg 640w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Florida Lawmakers Find Porn More Dangerous Than Assault Weapons:  Students from Florida’s Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, where 17 kids were recently murdered and scores injured in yet another mass shooting – were left in tears after their pleas for rational assault weapon laws were ignored by Florida lawmakers, who’ve decided that porn is a much more pressing public health risk than assault weapons.  That’s interesting because – I’m pretty sure at this point, any definition of “obscene” would surely have to include these Florida lawmakers.  And I wonder how long before one of these brave lawmakers – protecting us from porn, will be busted with a huge stash of porn on their own computer?  On a positive note, guess the NRA now has themselves a brand new slogan, “Guns don’t kill, nudie pictures do.”


http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Hate-Group-768x57... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Hate-Group-1024x7... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Hate-Group.jpg 1280w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />US Hate Groups Proliferate in Trump’s First Year:  The Southern Poverty Law Center found that the number of U.S. hate groups expanded dramatically last year under President Donald Trump’s administration, fueled by his immigration stance and the perception that he sympathized with those espousing white supremacy.  In response to this criticism, Trump officials are now urging everyone considering joining a “hate” group to turn it down a notch – and join a group that’s just a wee bit peeved instead.


http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Louise-Reay.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Comedian’s Estranged Husband Sues Her for Defamation:  UK stand-up comedian Louise Reay is asking people to contribute to her crowdfunding page, after being sued by her estranged husband for allegedly defaming him in her show.  Yea, well all I can say is, once Donald Trump leaves office – he’d better hope Melania doesn’t have any comedic ambitions.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Florida Lawmakers Find Porn More Dangerous Than Assault Weapons appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Treasury Secretary’s Wife Apologizes for Instagram Sniping

Treasury Secretary’s Wife Apologizes for Instagram Sniping:  Louise Linton, the actress wife of U.S. Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, apologized for demanding to know how much a female critic pays in taxes after the woman called Linton out for highlighting her expensive clothing as she exited a government plane.  Not to be critical, but her apology sounded more like “I’m so sorry.  It was inappropriate and insensitive of me to encourage the poors to feel badly about not being able to be me.”  That said, I can see a “Real Housewives” run in her future.  Now I’m no historian, but back in the day – didn’t the French use to send these types to the guillotine?


Eye Test Could Predict Alzheimer’s Disease Years In Advance:  According to a recent study from Cedars-Sinai, a non-invasive eye test could predict whether someone could have Alzheimer’s disease years before patients begin experiencing symptoms of the disease.  Wow, talk about a bargain!  So next time you go to the optometrist, your doctor will not only be able to tell you if you need glasses, but also if you’re losing your ever-lovin’ mind.


Cannibal Tells Police He’s Tired of Eating Human Flesh:  Four men in South Africa are facing charges of cannibalism after one of them handed himself in to police, claiming that he was “tired of eating human flesh.”  Oh for heaven’s sake, try another recipe and quit complaining!  But I get it.  Hell, when I was a kid, I used to eat meatloaf all the time.  Now, I hope I never have to see meatloaf on my plate again.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Treasury Secretary’s Wife Apologizes for Instagram Sniping appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

"Heads Up...to Boston"

The NFL wants it's players to donate their brains to Boston University researchers so they can study how brains are affected by playing football at the professional level.  Exempted from the study were all members of the Lions and Rams. 

Neil Berliner

Neil Berliner

"Become the Funniest Version of Yourself" NeilBerlinerComedy.com
New York City

"Become the Funniest Version of Yourself" - comedy coaching by Neil Berliner


Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Government Encourages Swearing in Schools


A dramatic and controversial change in UK school rules will mean that from the beginning of the next term, children will be allowed to swear in class.

This new ruling, suggested by Education Secretary Michael Gove, is in response to growing anger from parents of children with Tourette’s syndrome, a neurological condition which makes a child uncontrollably swear or have other unusual physical tics. It has been alleged that Tourette’s sufferers are feeling like outcasts in society and are not accepted. This new scheme has been piloted in Lancaster schools, and since the new term in January has proven to be an unmitigated success and will be rolled out nationwide after Easter.

Petra Peterson, a sufferer herself and chairwoman of the charity Tourette’s Intolerance Teaching Society (TITS), was visibly pleased with the news, “I am thrilled that someone is standing up and making a stand, good old Gove… perforated ass wipes People need to take us seriously… bug toasted poo smear Now children won’t know who has Tourette’s and we will finally fit in. It really doesn’t disturb anyone in class, so… inappropriate nipple hardening I think teachers will manage to adapt to the new… crinkled sock snot rules pretty easily.”

Interim Executive Director of Children’s Services at Lancashire County Council, Ms Louise Taylor, who headed-up the pilot, wasn’t so sure, “They say it was a success but we have found a huge upsurge in children suffering from Tourette’s in class. During the Lancaster pilot we found that rather than 0.8% of children displaying symptoms, it was around 74%. We do suspect, although we can’t be certain, that some children are just using it as an excuse to say things like ‘belching buttocks’ in class.”

Michael Gove responded to some criticism by saying, “We protect all manner of colours and creeds from prejudice in the UK, so why shouldn’t we look after the sufferers of this debilitating disease? As a government, we are truly proud of this new law and hope that it is embraced by all. We have spoken to the Oxford English Dictionary people, who have agreed to put all swear words in the next edition. This will make them as natural as saying ‘would you like beef gravy with that?’. We have cross-party support on this as the opposition leader, Ed Milliband, is a sufferer himself. Well, we think he is, he does spout a load of crap.”

One parent we spoke to said, “This is utter nonsense… toe sucking with pickles… I never felt singled out in school, it was… speckled bosom mints a pleasure every day. How can they bring such… smelly eggy wafts a stupid, illogical law in?”

This is certainly a shocking turn of events. How do you feel about swearing in the classroom? Should it be allowed just to protect the few who suffer from Tourette’s? Are children pretending to have a disease just to allow them to swear? We would love to know what you think. Contact us via our contact form on the contact page of our contact website.

Read More
Phil Woods

Phil Woods

Funny is not THE word.......it's A word
Connahs Quay

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular