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Steven Seagal

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Plant-Based Burger Smells, Tastes and Bleeds Like Real Thing

Plant-Based Burger Smells, Tastes and Bleeds Like Real Thing:  Scientist and chief executive of Impossible Foods Pat Brown has created a plant-based burger that he says recreates the texture, smell and flavor of meat that carnivores crave (including the blood) – while cutting down on the waste associated with meat production.  And, after you’ve completely devoured one of these babies, I’m guessing about the only left thing to do is wash it all down with an O’Doul’s non-alcoholic beer.

 

Caitlyn Jenner Seriously Considering Running for Office:  Caitlyn Jenner is reportedly seriously considering a shot at politics as friends say she has been questioning how she can make a bigger impact on the world.  OK, so if I’m understanding the Republican slate correctly, after the next election we’ll basically gonna have Trump, Kanye West, Kid Rock, Steven Seagal, the Rock and Caitlin Jenner running the country?  Good grief, that’s so insane, I’m not even sure the Russians could get behind that one.

 

Study Suggests Smelling Your Food Makes You Fat:  Researchers at UC Berkeley discovered that mice who had their sense of smell disabled could eat a high-fat diet and stay at a normal weight, while their litter mates who retained their sense of smell ballooned up to twice normal weight – suggesting a link between smell and metabolism.  Now I realize this study was conducted on mice, but I still smell a rat.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Oregon Couple Tip Waitress With Crystal Meth

Oregon Couple Tip Waitress With Crystal Meth:  An Oregon couple, out to dinner at a charming resort town steakhouse, got themselves arrested for deciding to tip their waitress with an envelope full of crystal meth.  The couple defended leaving the meth tip, pointing out that service there has always been notoriously slow and they felt this might be a good way to speed things up a bit.

 

Steven Seagal to Promote Russian Arms Industry:  Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced that action star Steven Seagal has just signed a deal to be the face promoting Russia’s arms industry.  It just might work.  Hell, he even looks like he just swallowed one of their tanks – whole.

 

Sex Between Neanderthals and Humans:  New DNA analyses indicates Neanderthals may have passed on a DNA fragment to humans, indicating a strong likelihood that humans did in fact have sex with Neanderthals.  Scientists say they are extremely hopeful this type of research will one day provide an explanation as to what Maria Shriver ever saw in Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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The post Oregon Couple Tip Waitress With Crystal Meth appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Beavers Reintroduced to Britain After 400 Years

beaverhttp://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Beaver.jpg 220w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" /> Beavers Reintroduced to Britain After 400 Years:  After being hunted to death during a beaver fur craze, a five-year reintroduction program has once again reestablished a healthy population of beavers in Scotland’s lochs and rivers.  All I can say is, it’s about dam time.

 

iq-highWomen’s Scoring Higher in IQ Tests Than Men:  A new study found that women are scoring higher than men on IQ tests for the first time in over 100 years.  Women are definitely getting more advanced degrees.  Hell, I have a woman friend who recently got her Thighmaster.

 

steven-seagalVladimir Putin Issues Steven Seagal Russian Passport:  Russian President Vladimir Putin has just presented actor Steven Seagal with a Russian passport, meaning the American action star will now share dual citizenship with the US and Russia.  OK, but it really seems like we’re not sending Russia our best people.  Gee, after looking at Steven Seagal and Gerard Depardieu – who also became a Russian citizen – I can only conclude that Russian citizenship must be extremely fattening.

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The post Beavers Reintroduced to Britain After 400 Years appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Steven Seagal Banned From the Ukraine as a Security Threat

Steven Seagal Banned From the Ukraine as a Security Threat:  Steven Seagal, the American actor best known for his role in ’90s action movies as well as being good pals with Russian President Vladimir Putin and President Trump, has just been blacklisted from the Ukraine for five years as a national security threat.

 

Gee, both a blackbelt and blacklisted!  The honors keep rolling in for this guy.  Wonder what could have happened?  They watched one of his old movies?  On a positive note, the Ukraine did later issue a clarification stating that if Seagal would be willing to lose 75 or 80 pounds and promise to lay off the Grecian Formula for a while, they’d be willing to reconsider the ban.

 

Not surprisingly, because of his defense of Putin and Russia, many Americans see Seagal as kind of a Benedict Arnold.  This is in contrast to those of us who live here in LA, who tend to think of him as being more Benedict Canyon than Benedict Arnold.  But then again, Benedict Canyon is an extremely popular route because most everyone here in LA will do about anything to avoid all the traffic on the 405, including support the Russian invasion of Crimea.

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The post Steven Seagal Banned From the Ukraine as a Security Threat appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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