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Heightened Earthquake Alert Issued for Southern California

earthquakeHeightened Earthquake Alert Issued for Southern California:  Following a series of over 300 small temblors under the Salton Sea, officials are cautioning Southern California residents to be on heightened alert for the increased possibility of a major earthquake.  Shortly afterward, the Trump/Pence campaign issued a memo pointing out how the Obama Administration has done very little in the way of preventing natural disasters from occurring around the world while Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson asked reporters “where’s California?”

 

tucker-carlsonTucker Carlson Claims Male Hillary Backers Suffer From Low Testosterone:  Fox News host Tucker Carlson asserted that “science” was on the side of a doctor and Fox News contributor who claims male Hillary Clinton supporters suffer from low testosterone.  Yeah, because who better exemplifies masculinity and machismo than Tucker Carlson?  Nothing quite like pudgy little men with gynecoid asses critiquing about other people’s testosterone levels.  If you ask me, they’re all just mad because progressive men aren’t buying any of those testosterone supplements those televangelists and right wing talk show hosts are always hawking.

 

child-endangermentFather Leaves 2-Year-Old Alone in Truck Outside Stripper Bar:  A 24-year-old man who left his small daughter in his pickup truck while he got drunk in a Van Nuys, California stripper bar has been arrested on suspicion of child endangerment.  Child Welfare officials say it is their sincere hope that incidents like this will finally convince strip clubs to add child-care facilities to their establishments.

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The post Heightened Earthquake Alert Issued for Southern California appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Melania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January

melania-trumpMelania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January:  President-elect Donald Trump has conformed that his wife Melania and their 10-year-old son Barron will remain in New York and not move into the White House after her husband takes office in January.  I get that.  You can’t expect her have to crap in a toilet that’s not made of gold.  We wouldn’t want any of the Trumps inconvenienced by the presidency.  Hell, with any luck, Trump won’t be moving into the White House either.  On the other hand, now he’ll be free to staff the White House with Ukrainian strippers.  The possibilities are endless.

 

kanye-westAngry Fans To Get Refunds After Disastrous Kanye West Show:  Ticketmaster has agreed to refund ticket money for fans who felt ripped-off after a disastrous Kanye West concert in which he showed up 90 minutes late, only performed three songs before going into a rant about how Beyoncé “hurt” him and leaving the stage.  Refunds are nice, but if you seriously don’t like being ripped-off, I’d suggest not shelling out $350 for a Kanye West concert in the first place.

 

jerry-falwell-jrJerry Falwell, Jr. Meets with Trump About Dept. of Education Position:  Creationist and climate change denier Jerry Falwell Jr. told local media that he and Donald Trump have met at Trump Tower to discuss the U.S. Department of Education and Falwell’s potential role.  Perfect choice!  I guess the only thing left to do now is appoint “Ark Encounter” operator Ken Ham as Secretary of the Navy.

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The post Melania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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