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Trump Gives Bizarre Speech to Attendees of 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Donald-Trump-300x... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Donald-Trump.jpeg 410w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Trump Gives Bizarre Speech to Attendees of 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree:  President Donald Trump gave an absolutely bizarre speech at the 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree, regaling the youngsters with tales of attending cocktail get-togethers with “hot” guests and playboy industrialists, sharing nightlife tips, bragging about his election win and leading the scouts in a massive boo for ex-President Barack Obama.  Gee, I can hardly wait to hear what he plans to tell the Girl Scouts.  About the only thing missing from the speech were hints about how scouts should consider buying their merit badges instead of going through all that stupid crap to get them.  After all, everyone knows doing the work and actually earning your rewards is for suckers.

 

Michael Phelps Races a Great White Shark:  As part of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, Olympic great Michael Phelps raced a simulated great white shark over a 100m course, finishing just two seconds slower than the simulated great white.  Oh for God’s sake, what’ll they think of next?  Trump and Steve Bannon racing a great white supremacist?

 

Heavy Drinking Will Kill 63,000 Over Next Five Years:  Doctors in the UK warn that nearly 63,000 people in that country will die over the next five years from liver problems linked to heavy drinking.  In response, Trump officials are urging any Americans who may be considered heavy drinkers – not to move to England.

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The post Trump Gives Bizarre Speech to Attendees of 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Fox Fires its Head of Sports Programming

Fox Fires its Head of Sports Programming:  Fox has fired Sports Programming head Jamie Horowitz a week after the network began investigating allegations of sexual harassment in the workplace in its sports division.  Well, when you consider sexual harassment has always been sort of a sport in and of itself over at Fox, I guess having it occur in their sports division just makes sense.

 

White House Denies Office of Science and Technology Now Empty:  The White House is denying reports by former staffers that one division within the Office of Science and Technology Policy is now completely unstaffed and empty.  The White House claims its all just a misunderstanding and the only reason the office is currently vacant is that their top scientist Ken Ham had a few issues to attend to at his Ark Encounter Theme Park back in Kentucky before he begins his stint as chief science advisor to the President.

 

Starbucks Worker Who Mysteriously Vanished During Break Found Alive:  A North Carolina Starbucks worker who clocked out for a scheduled break and never returned has been found alive nearly a week later nearly 200 miles away in Virginia Beach.  I don’t wanna sound critical, but I ordered a latte earlier this evening at a Starbucks here in LA and I could swear by the time I finally got my drink, I believe my barista could have walked to Virginia Beach and back – perhaps even taking time out for a quick swim in the Atlantic.

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The post Fox Fires its Head of Sports Programming appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Melania Trump Wears $51,500 Jacket to Meet G7 Spouses

Melania Trump Wears $51,500 Jacket to Meet G7 Spouses:  Melania Trump raised a few eyebrows when she wore a bright, floral $51,500 Dolce & Gabbana jacket to meet with her fellow G7 spouses in Sicily this week, a sum which is more than most Americans make in an entire year.

 

Oh come on, what’s the big deal?  First of all, this is the kind of jacket one wears when you’re someone who takes a crap on a gold-plated toilet.  I mean, didn’t Trump warn supporters during the campaign that “you’re gonna win so much, you’re gonna get tired of winning?”  Well I suspect that after looking at this $51,500 jacket and then thinking about all the massive cuts Mr Trump’s got planned for safety-net programs like Medicaid and Meals on Wheels, its safe to conclude that he was right and many of us are in fact getting pretty damn tired of “all this winning.”

 

But politics aside, I would have never dreamed anyone actually paid $51,500 for that jacket.  I was sure she must have borrowed it from either Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus.  When I first saw it, I thought I was having one of those hippie 1960’s LSD flashbacks – I mean, if that isn’t about “flower power,” what is?  In fact, it almost looks like a whole flower garden just threw up all over her.

 

Then I thought “my God,” that looks like the duvet cover off my grandmother’s bed.  Either that or a bunch of 1950’s women’s swimming caps all sewn together.  And let us not forget Ringling Bros. just shut down – perhaps she wore it to honor them?  There’s so many possible explanations.  And just then I saw that picture of the Trumps finally holding hands, and it hit me – that $51,500 coat is her reward for agreeing to hold those stubby little fingers again.  Who says romance is dead?

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The post Melania Trump Wears $51,500 Jacket to Meet G7 Spouses appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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