Irish Town Complains Viagra Factory Fumes Giving Men Erections: Despite repeated company denials, the residents of Ringaskiddy, Ireland are claiming that its citizens have been prone toward unwanted erections and arousal ever since Pfizer started manufacturing the ED drug Viagra in their community back in 1998. Experts say that even if it were true, it would be really “hard” to prove because the erection rumors are being met with stiff opposition from the scientific community. In response, local officials caution that if your erection lasts over four hours, consider moving to another town.
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Signs $200M Contract Extension: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has signed a five-year, $200 million contract extension to remain in his role through 2024. And, to add to all the fun – Congress just gave him a brand new tax break on that $200 million.
Duck-Dinosaur Hybrid Baffles Scientists: Scientists announced the discovery of a rather puzzling new carnivorous dinosaur that walked like an ostrich, could swim like a penguin with its flippers, had a bill like a duck, a neck like a swan, all topped-off with killer claws and teeth like a crocodile. While jubilant scientists were expressing excitement over the scientific implications of the find, Trump supporters were thinking “and just in time for duck season!”
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