Tuesday , 22 May 2018
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The Kardashians

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Cocaine-Stuffed Condoms Headed for the Vatican Seized

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Cocaine-Condoms.jpg 532w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Cocaine-Stuffed Condoms Headed for the Vatican Seized:  A package that was simply addressed to “The Vatican Post Office” containing 12 ounces of cocaine stuffed in 14 condoms has been intercepted by German authorities.  A Vatican spokesperson expressed outrage –  not at the cocaine, but at the condoms. 

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Solar-768x512.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Solar.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Solar Installations in the US Growing Rapidly:  As more businesses and households embrace the technology. the cost of solar has been going down dramatically, which means solar installations will likely continue growing at an ever-increasing pace.  In fact, industry analysts say the outlook for solar remains quite “sunny.”  

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/New-Cars.jpeg 606w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Car Sales Are Half of US Economic Growth:  According to a Bloomberg analysis, car sales make up fully half of the US economic growth for this year.  The other half is believed to have come directly from money the Kardashians blow on Beverly Hills shopping sprees.

The post Cocaine-Stuffed Condoms Headed for the Vatican Seized appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Administration Defends Spending $139,000 on Zinke’s Door

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Ryan-Zinke.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Administration Defends Spending $139,000 on Zinke’s Door:  The Trump administration is yet again defending a senior official’s spending after it emerged the Department of the Interior spent nearly $139,000 on upgrading Secretary Ryan Zinke’s office door.  Yea, well maybe its time we show him the door.  Meanwhile, angry taxpayer organizations complained that $139,000 is money that could have been used for something worthwhile – you know, like paying off a porn star.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Milwaukee-Teens-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Milwaukee-Teens.jpg 931w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Milwaukee Teens Testing Positive for HIV and Syphilis in Large Numbers:  At least 125 people in Milwaukee – including scores of high school kids – have been infected with HIV and syphilis, or both in one of the biggest outbreaks ever reported in the city.  Wow, sounds like Milwaukee kids are sure doing their best to keep up with the Kardashians.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Scales-768x510.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Scales.jpg 1023w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />NJ Judge Rules Waitresses Can Be Fired For Gaining Weight:  Casino waitresses are effectively “sex objects” and can be fired for putting on too much weight, according to a ruling by an Atlantic County Superior Court judge in New Jersey.  Critics argue that rulings like this are precisely why Chris Christie has never able to fulfill his dream of becoming a casino waitress.

The post Trump Administration Defends Spending $139,000 on Zinke’s Door appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Smithsonian Publishes Controversial Article on Jellyfish

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Jellyfish-768x511... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Jellyfish.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Smithsonian Publishes Controversial Article on Jellyfish:  An article in Smithsonian Magazine claims that jellyfish are essentially a boneless, bloodless and brainless species whose mouth also doubles as their anus.  Now I have no idea what the Smithsonian has against jellyfish, but this is the kind of hurtful name-calling is not exactly what one would expect from a respected scientific journal and it needs to stop now.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/March-for-Science... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/March-for-Science... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/March-for-Science... 1060w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Thousands Attend 2018 March For Science:  Thousands of protesters in 250 rallies around the world marched to advocate for science policies to be involved in policymaker’s everyday conversations.  Well, guess we don’t have to ask what the Kardashians did over the weekend.  Sadly, many others said they would have attended, but they didn’t feel there was strong enough evidence there was even gonna be a march.

 

Rental Car Agent Finds Body in Back Seat of Returned Car:  Los Angeles police say a car rental agency employee got a big surprise in a Jefferson Park alley when he went to retrieve a car and found a woman’s dead body in the back seat.  Angry car rental employees sat the contract plainly specifies that any dead bodies are to be dropped off up on Mulholland Drive, not left in the back seat of our cars.

The post Smithsonian Publishes Controversial Article on Jellyfish appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Enormous Crack in the Earth Opens Up Near Nairobi

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Crack-in-Earth-76... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Crack-in-Earth.jpg 800w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Enormous Crack in the Earth Opens Up Near Nairobi:  Scientists can’t seem to agree upon exactly what may have caused an enormous crack which has opened up in the earth, just outside Nairobi, Kenya.  Geologists say the crack measures 50 feet deep and 65 feet across in some areas – and goes on for miles before slices right through a major highway.

 

When informed about the crack, an angry President Trump complained by tweet that now the Mexican drug lords have even gotten parts of the Earth addicted to crack – until one of his trusty aids informed him that this doesn’t sound like the kind of crack that drug addicts smoke.  The President then demanded to know if any great-big, angry fire-breathing dinosaurs were emerging from the crack? 

 

To answer this question, several renowned creationist geologists from Liberty University were immediately summoned to the White House to explain what exactly is going on – and they explained to the president that this crack is so huge, it could likely put many plumbers and possibly even Kim Kardashian – to shame.  Upon hearing that, the President was reportedly in awe of the crack.  

 

At this point, the President asked the geologists if we could possibly prevent the crack from growing any larger by throwing Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Clinton into the crevasse as a sacrificial offering?  When the scientists informed the President that its very unlikely that would work, he shrugged his shoulders and instructed aides to send several cases of Duct tape and industrial-strength Flex Seal over to Kenya.  The President had had quite enough of this nonsense, its time to hit the golf course.

The post Enormous Crack in the Earth Opens Up Near Nairobi appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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