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The New York Times
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Pence Strongly Denies Shadow 2020 Presidential Bid

Pence Strongly Denies Shadow 2020 Presidential Bid:  Vice President Mike Pence is calling a New York Times report that says he’s quietly laying the groundwork for a possible presidential run in 2020 “laughable and absurd.”  Guess that may explain why Trump’s been feeling a bit “pensive” lately.  But come on, this story is just plain nonsense.  Everyone knows Pence will be President by 2018.  Fun Fact – Pence will become our first President since the 19th century who actually believes that it’s the storks who deliver babies.

 

Large-Toothed Fish Found in Nevada Chomped Prey Like Sharks:  A fossil found in northeastern Nevada shows a newly discovered fish species that scientists believe both looked and ate like a shark.  In other words, its table manners left plenty to be desired.

 

Trump Spokesperson Wants No Non-English Speakers:  Former Trump campaign spokesperson Katrina Pierson lashed out at CNN correspondent Jim Acosta who questioned White House policy that aims to prohibit non-English speaking legal immigrants, saying that she finds it “unfortunate that Jim Acosta would want non-English speakers to come to this country.”  Well then, perhaps Republicans should focus on teaching Trump how to speak English – even though he has all the best words – they certainly aren’t English (bigly, covfefe, braggadocio, yuge).

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The post Pence Strongly Denies Shadow 2020 Presidential Bid appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Explains Away Swedish Terror Attack Remarks

Trump Explains Away Swedish Terror Attack Remarks:  The New York Times is reporting that after bewildering residents and officials of Sweden by suggesting at a recent campaign rally their country had the victim of a terrorist attack over the weekend, President Donald Trump explained away the incident by saying he had heard about it during a Fox News interview with a conservative filmmaker.

 

I think its just outrageous how the liberal media with their fake news is refusing to acknowledge the horrors of this imaginary terrorist attack.  I mean, don’t the good people of Sweden have a right to know that they have been brutally attacked and are now dead?

 

Reports say the shock and horror of this imaginary tragedy are simply unprecedented – perhaps even exceeding the carnage of the Bowling Green attack.  All of our thoughts and prayers must go out to the victims of this savage attack which President Trump has apparently managed to pull right out of his ass.

 

And while its easy to make fun about an imaginary attack, its also important to be sensitive to all the imaginary families who lost their loved ones in this attack which never happened.  Fortunately for Sweden, unlike America – everyone has healthcare, so all the imaginary victims will be able to be treated free of charge.

 

Meanwhile, its being reported that the intelligence community is demanding that President Trump be forbidden to watch any more “Road Runner” cartoons.  One of the big problems with Donald Trump’s new reality show is – you just can’t switch it off.

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The post Trump Explains Away Swedish Terror Attack Remarks appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Comey Tells Sessions Don’t Leave Me Alone with Trump

Comey Tells Sessions Don’t Leave Me Alone with Trump:  The New York Times is reporting that former FBI Director James Comey asked Attorney General Jeff Sessions not to leave him alone with President Donald Trump.  What’s the big deal?  I’m sure Melania makes the same request almost every day.

 

Trump Suggests Border Wall Could Have Solar Panels:  In a meeting with congressional leaders, President Trump suggested his oft-promised border wall might be covered in solar panels as a way to pay for it.  Critics are calling the plan one of the craziest ideas under the sun.

 

Study Casts Doubt on Feathered and Fluffy T. rex:  Researchers say that despite evidence that many of its ancestors were covered in feathers, fossil evidence indicated that Tyrannosaurus rex most likely had scaly skin.  Why can’t it be both?  Hell, I’ve dated people who were covered with feathers, but yet had a scaly skin.

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The post Comey Tells Sessions Don’t Leave Me Alone with Trump appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump and Putin to Work Together On Cybersecurity

Trump and Putin to Work Together On Cybersecurity:  President Donald Trump’s revelation that he discussed forming an “impenetrable cyber security unit” with Russian President Vladimir Putin is drawing swift criticism from both parties in light of Russia’s cyberattacks against the U.S. during last year’s election.  Another brilliant Trump maneuver – team up with the burglars who’ve broken into your house.  If that doesn’t prevent them from breaking in again, I don’t know what will.

 

Study Finds Sense of Purpose Aids Sleep:  US researchers who surveyed people on their sleeping habits found that the secret to a good night’s sleep is having a sense of purpose in life.  Wow, I’m guessing my cat and people with narcolepsy must really have a deep sense of purpose then.

 

Trump Jr Promised Damaging Intel on Clinton Before Russian Meeting:  The New York Times reports that Donald Trump Jr. was promised damaging information about Hillary Clinton before agreeing to meet with a Kremlin-connected Russian lawyer during the 2016 campaign.  I’m going to go with knowledge of election meddling for $200, Alex.  Talk about a smoking gun – the NRA is claiming this falls under the 2nd Amendment.

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The post Trump and Putin to Work Together On Cybersecurity appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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