Thursday , 19 October 2017
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

United Nations
  • 94 Jokes

How Recent: 2 Years
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

White House Claims Miscommunication on Aircraft Carrier’s Location

White House Claims Miscommunication on Aircraft Carrier’s Location:  A senior Administration official says a miscommunication with the Pentagon and the Trump Defense Department was responsible for President Trump falsely claiming on Fox News that he was sending “a very powerful naval armada” to the Korean Peninsula, when those ships were actually on their way to military exercises out in the Indian Ocean, some 3,500 miles in the opposite direction.

 

Interesting military strategy, provoking a hostile country with forces that are actually somewhere else!  Talk about a tactical genius!  I mean, so what if we lost track of an aircraft carrier and four warships for a while, or that the entire Defense Department along with the Secretary of Defense “Mad Dog” Mattis had no frigg’n clue as to where our ships were.  What’s the big deal?

 

Instead of thinking negative things like “what could possibly go wrong?” – we should be thinking positive and asking “what could possibly go right?”  Think of it this way, if we have no idea what the hell we’re doing, how is the enemy supposed to figure it out?  I mean, hell – sometimes when I am playing video games like Civilization 6, I lose my aircraft carriers too – it happens.  Besides, what does any of this have to do with Benghazi or the Susan Rice unmasking scandal?

 

And to be completely fair, Trump only recently learned that the world is round.  He probably just assumed we could quickly have those vessels circle the globe and end up right back in the Korean Peninsula in no time at all.  Also, we did have Vice President Mike Pence in South Korea at the time, staring down the North Koreans from just over the border.  That is, until the North Koreans paraded out a bunch North Korean women – forcing Pence to have to leave immediately because his wife was back in the US.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post White House Claims Miscommunication on Aircraft Carrier’s Location appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that all these joke and video posts are really comedian trading cards? Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their post and watch the magic.

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Study Finds Mediterranean Diet Only Works If You’re Rich

Study Finds Mediterranean Diet Only Works If You’re Rich:  According to a new study, the so-called “Mediterranean diet” – rich in fruits, vegetables, fish and whole grains and world-famous for being heart-healthy, only seems to provide cardiovascular advantages to the wealthy and highly educated.  In response, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos is urging all America’s young people who wish to live healthy lives to study hard, attend only the most prestigious schools and accept only the best paying jobs society has to offer.

 

Secret Service Leaves Trump Tower After Feud Over Lease:  According to the reports, the Secret Service who are tasked with guarding the President, has vacated their post at Trump Tower in Manhattan after President Trump clashed with the organization “over the terms of a lease for the space they were occupying in the building.”  Gee, one would assume a “real” billionaire would comp the rent – given that its for protecting he and his family.  Guess instead of taking that proverbial bullet for the President, the Secret Service has decided to take a bullet train the hell out of there.  Just as well, maybe the Russians just needed the space anyway.

 

First Human Embryo Editing Corrects Gene for Heart Condition:  Scientists have successfully edited the DNA of human embryos to erase an inherited heart condition known for causing sudden death in young competitive athletes – opening up the possibility of eliminating many inherited and deadly diseases, but also opening up the doors to a controversial new era in medicine.  In related news, the Trump Administration announced it has asked Attorney General Sessions to look into the possibility of bringing up the scientists on charges of witchcraft.

SaveSave

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Study Finds Mediterranean Diet Only Works If You’re Rich appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

How to Tell if Your Eyes Were Damaged Looking at Solar Eclipse

How to Tell if Your Eyes Were Damaged Looking at Solar Eclipse:  Reuters has published an informative article to help people determine if their eyes were damaged by looking at the solar eclipse without eye protection.  And while I’m no optometrist, I’d have to assume the answer is simply “if you’re able to read this article about eye damage, you’re eyes are fine.”

 

Mixing Grapefruit With Meds Can Be Dangerous:  It’s not too uncommon for a physician to warn against mixing medications with alcohol, but new research suggests that grapefruits pose a serious threat if consumed with certain drugs.  Doctors caution that if you must mix anything with grapefruit, stick to vodka.

 

Elon Musk Calls for Ban on Killer Robots:  Tesla chief executive Elon Musk has joined more than 100 robotics and artificial intelligence experts who have written an open letter, calling on the United Nations to ban lethal autonomous weapons, one of the deadliest forms of war machines.  Yea, well just let them try and take my killer robot away from me.  The way I see it, as long as I have plenty of AA batteries at my disposal, I am basically invincible!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post How to Tell if Your Eyes Were Damaged Looking at Solar Eclipse appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular