Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii:  US Attorney General Jeff Sessions set off a firestorm after issuing an insulting dismissal of America’s 50th state, expressing astonishment that a judge “who sits on an island in the Pacific” could dare hold up American President Trump’s travel ban – making some wonder if he was even aware that Hawaii is a state.  Sure, Hawaii has been a state since 1959, but in Sessions’ defense, he’s still living in the year 1950.  That said, Hawaii shouldn’t take it too personally, Sessions doesn’t recognize any states which were added after the Missouri Compromise.  And on a positive note, at least he had the ocean correct.

Newly Discovered Exoplanet May Be Best Candidate for Life:  Scientists say a newly discovered exoplanet, some 40 light-years from Earth, may be the best place to look for signs of life outside our Solar System.  Uh oh, space aliens just 40 light-years away?  Sounds like the Trump Administration may need a bigger wall.

Lawsuit Claims Bose Headphones Spying on Customers:  An Illinois man has filed a class-action lawsuit, accusing high-end audio equipment maker Bose of spying on its users and selling information about their playlists and listening habits without permission.  And who can blame him?  I mean, who wants the general public to know your favorite music group is The Village People?

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http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Santa-Shootings-1... 420w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Man Dressed as Santa Shoots Four at Texas Halloween Party:  Police say a Halloween party in Austin, Texas, erupted in violence after a man dressed as Santa Claus opened fire and wounded four people.

While I’m no detective, I’d say the first clue something was amiss would be when you realize “hey, there’s a guy dressed as Santa Claus at a Halloween party!”  And while police as yet have no solid motive for the crime, they haven’t fully ruled out the possibility that the shooter may have been a former Village People member who turned to crime after the group broke up.  That said, the Trump administration is blaming it on an illegal immigrant from the North Pole and asking for an immediate travel ban.

Meanwhile, police report this Santa character knew his victims.  No kidding!  Witnesses say just before he opened fire, he was making his list – and checking it twice.  Others say the whole incident started because the Easter Bunny was talk’n smack again.  The bottom line is, who could’ve ever imagined our holidays would eventually come down to something like “you’d better watch out, you better not cry, because when Santa gets here, we’re all gonna die.”

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