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Bodyguard Says Russian Offered to Send Trump Five Women

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Keith-Schiller.jpg 502w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Bodyguard Says Russian Offered to Send Trump Five Women:  President Trump’s former bodyguard Keith Schiller told Congressional investigators that a Russian involved in the 2013 Miss Universe pageant, offered to send five girls to Trump’s hotel room.  Somebody probably told Schiller that if you allow those women to come up to Trump’s room, it’ll mean urine trouble.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Antarctica-Superv... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Antarctica-Superv... 896w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />NASA Suspects Supervolcano Under Antarctica Waiting to Erupt:  NASA says a mantle plume producing almost as much heat as Yellowstone supervolcano appears to be melting part of West Antarctica from beneath.  As a precautionary measure, scientists urge all penguins who have the resources, to consider moving to East Antarctica.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Patagotitan-768x6... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Patagotitan.jpg 941w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Patagotitan is the New Heavyweight Champion of Dinosaurs:  Scientists say a plant-eating behemoth that lived 100 million years ago named Patagotitan has been crowned the new heavyweight champion of dinosaurs – weighing in at a whopping 76 tons, 122 feet long and 20 feet high.  What difference does it make?  My building has a “no pets policy” anyway.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought

Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought:  New data shows that one-thousand gigaton volcanic super-eruptions may happen much more frequent than previously thought, with scientists discovering they could occur as often as every 5,000 years – with the next big one is due any time.  Gee, I never thought I’d say this, but Jim Bakker’s doomsday $500 “Bucket-O-Mac & Cheese” with the 25-year shelf life is suddenly starting to sound like a pretty good bargain after all.  I mean, its either that or break into the San Diego Zoo and try and eat up all their antelopes.

 

Study Finds Prehistoric Women Had Extremely Strong Arms:  Anthropologists say they have determined that prehistoric women had very strong arms on a thick bone structure – because of the extreme manual labor they were forced to perform on a daily basis.  Really?  Well then, all I can say is it’s kind of a shame that there were as yet no jars that women would have been able to have opened for themselves back in those days.  Guess they needed to be strong enough to fend off the Trumps and the Weinsteins of the day.

 

Facebook Asks Users to Upload Face Photos:  Soon, you may be forced to upload a clear photograph of your face onto Facebook to prove you aren’t a Russian bot.  Pro-Tip – don’t try fooling Facebook by uploading a photo of Donald Trump instead of your own.  The software won’t recognize it as human.

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The post Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Pilot Emergency Lands Hot Air Balloon in Alligator Pond

Pilot Emergency Lands Hot Air Balloon in Alligator Pond:  International Business Times is reporting that a hot air balloon, carrying 16 passengers and a pilot, was forced to make an emergency landing in an alligator-infested pond near Disney World in Orlando.  Well, bet that was a pleasant surprise for the gators to learn that breakfast is being flown in for them this morning.  I can see the gators asking “say, did anyone order a bucket of tourists, with an extra order of white folks?”

 

Judge Rules Florida’s Stand Your Ground Law Unconstitutional:  A judge in Florida has ruled that the state’s updated “stand your ground” law, which required prosecutors to disprove a defendant’s self-defense case at pretrial hearings, is unconstitutional, setting up a showdown that could make its way to the state’s top court.  One thing’s for sure, in a state like Florida where sinkholes are constantly swallowing up everything from cars to houses, “standing your ground” can become rather difficult.  While I’m certainly no authority on the legality of “stand your ground” laws, I do know one thing – you definitely don’t wanna “grab your ground” during one of Florida’s crazy electrical storms.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Indigestion-Meds-... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Indigestion-Meds.jpg 410w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Study Finds Indigestion Pills Can Cause Early Death:  A new study found that people taking common heartburn and indigestion medication are 25 percent more likely to die in the next six years.  Ah, come on!  Is there nothing safe anymore?  I mean its getting to the point where if the terrorists, pollution, heart disease, traffic accidents, violent criminals, global warming, exploding cellphones, asteroids, supervolcanoes, falls from ladders, great white sharks or rattlesnakes don’t get ya – then Prilosec will.

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The post Pilot Emergency Lands Hot Air Balloon in Alligator Pond appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Sports Mag Calls Trump’s 73 Golf Score Patently Unbelievable

Sports Mag Calls Trump’s 73 Golf Score Patently Unbelievable:  Golfing experts are expressing serious disbelief at the claim that the President shot a 73 during a recent round of golf with Lindsey Graham at one of the President’s golf courses.  Yea, his score may be unbelievable, but then again, isn’t everything he says and does pretty much unbelievable?  To put it in golfing terms, Trump lying about himself is “par for the course.”  That said, he ought to be good at golf – hell, he spends more time golfing than most of the pros.

 

Yellowstone’s Supervolcano May Blow Sooner Than Thought:  Arizona State University researchers, analyzing minerals in fossilized ash from the most recent mega-eruption of Yellowstone National Park’s supervolcano, have determined it may blow again much sooner than previously thought – wiping all life off the face of the Earth in just a few decades.  Even so, I’d be willing to bet it’ll only take a few years before you’ll start to see Starbucks cafes slowly springing up and dotting the landscape again.

 

Geologists Debate Grand Canyon’s Age:  A bitter controversy is raging among geologists over the age of the Grand Canyon after a report published in the journal Science claims the canyon is actually 70 million years old, not the commonly held belief that it’s 6 million years old.  Oh for heaven’s sake, what difference does it make as long as it isn’t applying for a driver’s license?

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The post Sports Mag Calls Trump’s 73 Golf Score Patently Unbelievable appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates

Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates:   A new study shows the supervolcano beneath Yellowstone National Park is actually about 2.5 times larger than previous estimates, suggesting that an eruption could very well doom all of humanity.  Scientists theorize it would be nearly impossible for most life forms to survive such a cataclysmic event, with the possible exception of cockroaches or perhaps a few of the Kardashians.

 

Fossils Cast Doubt on Humanity Originating in Africa:  Fossils from Greece and Bulgaria of an ape-like creature that lived 7.2 million years ago may fundamentally alter the understanding of human origins, casting doubt on the view that the evolutionary lineage that led to people arose in Africa.  So their now claiming humanity originated in Bulgaria and not Africa?  Well, I guess it could have been worse, it could have been Cleveland.

 

T. rex Could Bite With the Force of Three Cars:  Further solidifying it’s reputation as the most fearsome of dinosaurs, scientists say when the fabled carnivorous dinosaur Tyrannosaurus rex took a bite, it did so with an awe-inspiring force equal to the weight of three small cars.  Which is why I’ve always carried a Tyrannosaurus rider with my car insurance policy.

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The post Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Study Claims Sugar as Addictive as Cocaine

Study Claims Sugar as Addictive as Cocaine:  Heated debate has greeted an article in a medical journal suggesting sugar should be considered a drug which is as addictive as cocaine.  While I am no scientist, I think if you’re seriously trying to determine if sugar is as addictive as cocaine, you first have to ask two very important questions 1) do people perform sexual favors for a sugar fix and 2) does Eric Clapton ever plan to follow-up on his hit single “Cocaine” with a song called “Sugar?”   If the answer to any of these questions are yes, then you may have a case.

 

Gravitational Wave Observatory Finds Three More Colliding Black Holes:  The Gravitational Wave Observatory reports that they have detected three more gargantuan gravitational waves caused by a pair of colliding black holes.  Then they wonder why insurance companies won’t cover them.  Hell, at this rate, even self-driving Teslas are having less collisions.

 

NASA’s Plan to Defuse Yellowstone’s Super Volcano:  NASA believes the Yellowstone super volcano is a greater threat to life on Earth than any asteroid, so it has come up with a plan to defuse its explosive potential by drilling a 5-mile-deep hole into the hydrothermal water below in an attempt to drain some 60 to 70 percent of the heat from the magma chamber below.  So if I understand this project correctly, NASA is trying to get an angry volcano to blow off some steam before it blows its top.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Trump Tweets Tillerson Wasting His Time Negotiating with North Korea

Trump Tweets Tillerson Wasting His Time Negotiating with North Korea:  A day after his secretary of state said the US had direct communications to North Korea and was “probing” to find ways to resolve escalating nuclear tension between the two countries, Donald Trump tweeted that the secretary of state is “wasting his time” and should “save his energy.”  While I’m no foreign policy expert, I’m guessing that means Secretary Tillerson ought to be taking the President’s lead and start spending a lot more time out on the golf course instead of wasting his time trying to avoid a nuclear war.  Is it just me, or are Trump’s tweets starting to evolve from kind of crazy-funny to downright scary – at least for those of us who have hopes that planet Earth will remain habitable for the near future.

 

Over 11,000 Prepare to Evacuate as Vanuatu Volcano Erupts:  A flotilla of boats were headed to the Pacific island of Ambae, Vanuatu, as efforts get underway to evacuate all 11,000 residents of the island because of an erupting volcano.  In an angry early morning tweet storm, President Trump claimed this whole eruption might have been prevented if only political correctness hadn’t stopped local islanders from sacrificing a few virgins to the volcano gods.

 

HHS Secretary Tom Price Resigns Over Private Jet Travel:  Fierce Obamacare opponent and Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price has resigned following numerous revelations that he had taken pricey private jets at the taxpayer’s expense to conduct official business.  Gee, seems as if President Trump has appointed yet another pampered, self-centered, self-serving sleazeball to a trusted cabinet post – and now the public is paying the “Price.”  Now, one can only wonder if Secretary Price will be eligible to take his health insurance with him to his next job?

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The post Trump Tweets Tillerson Wasting His Time Negotiating with North Korea appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Awakening Supervolcano Threatening Naples Area

Awakening Supervolcano Threatening Naples Area:  Scientists have discovered a “hot zone” feeding the Campi Flegrei supervolcano near Naples in southern Italy, prompting fears it is nearing eruption – threatening catastrophe for the 1.5 million people living in the region.  In a series of angry early morning tweets, President Trump warned that an attack on an ally like Italy would be considered an attack on the United States and promised to bomb the volcano into kingdom come if it continued to threaten this beautiful country and home to such great historical figures like Benito Mussolini.

 

Woman With Two Vaginas Turns Down $1 Million Porn Offer:  A 27-year-old British woman who was born with two vaginas, has turned down a $1 million offer from a US adult film production company to star in one of their porn films.  Ironically, this is probably the only person alive who could technically be both a prostitute and a virgin at the same time.

 

Rabbit Sets World Record For Dunking Basketballs:  A 5-year-old Holland Lop rabbit, who was trained to dunk basketballs by his caretaker Shai Asor, has just set a Guinness World Record for rabbits with seven dunks in one minute.  All I can say is, keep playing basketball like that and the next thing you know, he’ll be getting marriage proposals from the Kardashians.

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The post Awakening Supervolcano Threatening Naples Area appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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