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Trump Proposes Cutting 248 Meteorologists from Tornado Alley

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Dangerous-Tornado... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Dangerous-Tornado... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Dangerous-Tornado... 1167w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Proposes Cutting 248 Meteorologists from Tornado Alley:  President Trump is proposing gutting the National Weather Service in an area of the country that depends on forecasters and meteorologists to protect them from extreme weather events such as tornados.  On a positive note, the President promised that should a horrific storm manage to sneak up on them without warning – rendering massive devastation and death to the area, he’ll ask the rest of the country to send lots of “thoughts and prayers” their way.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Andromeda-Galaxy-... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Andromeda-Galaxy.jpg 800w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Finds Milky Way Galaxy Will Not Be Eaten By Andromeda:  Scientists say new research is showing that our own Milky Way galaxy will not be eaten by our closest neighbor galaxy Andromeda as was previously thought.  A NASA spokesperson said our tests indicate the Andromeda galaxy is most likely lactose intolerant, so consuming a Milky Way galaxy would not be a smart food choice for our neighbor Andromeda.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Tesla-in-Space-76... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Tesla-in-Space.jpg 960w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Musk’s Tesla Will Stay in Space for Millions of Years:  Analysis by Czech and Canadian researchers determined that the Tesla roadster Elon Musk launched into space is likely to stay there for tens of millions of years before finally crashing into either Earth or Venus.  Automotive experts are quick to caution anyone hoping to snag themselves a cheap Tesla at that time – that the warranty and any price incentives will most likely have long run out on the vehicle by then.

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The post Trump Proposes Cutting 248 Meteorologists from Tornado Alley appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming

Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming:  With much of the US inundated with snow and frigid weather, President Trump took to Twitter to say he thinks America could benefit from “a little bit of that good old global warming.”  Now let’s see, if I’m correct here – his Mar-a-Lago estate is only just a few feet above sea level.  Talk about “be careful about what you wish for!”  If I were him, I think I’d make damn sure that top floor Trump Tower penthouse apartment is shipshape and ready to go – that is, unless he plans to take up scuba diving instead of golf.

 

New Dating App Matches Users Based on Their DNA:  A new dating app called “Pheramor” is using DNA compatibility as a basis for its matchmaking algorithm, requiring all users to submit a cheek swab which a team of in-house scientists can sequence in order to determine which users might be sexually compatible.  I guessing that after you’ve turned your love life over to algorithms and in-house scientists, about the only thing left to do is head out on that “let’s get to know each other date” – and pay for it all in Bitcoin.

 

World’s Richest Became $1 Trillion Wealthier in 2017:  While most of the world’s population still struggles to make ends meet, new data shows that the world’s richest individuals increased their wealth by a staggering $1 trillion in 2017.  Yea, its called “trickle-down economics,”  and quite frankly – I find it strangely comforting to know the rich are “trickling-down” on us.

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The post Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Code-Breakers.jpg 750w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos:  Even while at a White House ceremony intended to honor the World War II Navajo code talkers, Trump found he couldn’t resist making a derogatory comment about his adversary Sen. Elizabeth Warren, referring to her once again as “Pocahontas.”  No surprise there – I mean this is a guy who politicized a speech he made to the damn Boy Scouts.  Kind of makes you wonder he’ll do next?  Throw paper towels at hurricane victims?

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Facebook.png 640w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Facebook Rolls Out AI to Detect Suicidal Posts:  Facebook announced a brand new “proactive detection artificial intelligence technology,” designed to scan all posts looking for patterns of suicidal thoughts – and when necessary – send mental health resources to the user at risk.  Gee, one would assume with all the money Facebook has, they could afford to just hire some actual intelligence rather than the artificial kind.  Wonder if that new “artificial intelligence” will also be able to detect when foreign governments are buying fake, political hacker ads to post on Facebook?  The first clue might be when they’re paying for everything in Rubles.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Elerdy.jpg 728w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Finds We’re Living Longer Lives in Poorer Health:  A new study found that while life expectancy is increasing, adults are spending a large portion of their retirement years in poor health.  A Trump Administration spokesperson claims the easiest way to put a stop to this trend would be to make dramatic cuts to medical care funding for the elderly – combined with lowering taxes for the wealthy.  Problem solved!

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The post Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Study Finds Sore Joints Aren’t Caused by Bad Weather

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Bad-Joints.jpg 743w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Finds Sore Joints Aren’t Caused by Bad Weather:  Researchers from Harvard Medical School say the old folk tale that bad weather prompts aches and pains in bad joints just isn’t supported by the evidence.  Now I don’t know about that, but I do know I’ve smoked some really bad joints in some good weather.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Paula-White.jpg 720w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Advisor Claims Obama Threw Baby Jesus Out of White House:  During an appearance on the Fox News Channel, Donald Trump‘s “spiritual advisor” Paula White celebrated Christians’ victory in the War on Christmas, by saying that President Trump is allowing the baby Jesus back into the White House after Obama threw him out.  Perhaps, but I suspect that after Jesus takes a look around and sees all the neo-Nazis and White Supremisists Trump brought in, I’m not too sure he’ll wanna spend a lot of time hanging out there anyway.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Celiac-Disease.jpg 666w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />New Blood Test Can Accurately Diagnose Celiac Disease:  Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder that affects only one percent of the US population, but a new blood test promises to detect once and for all, if someone actually has immune cells in their blood – even if they’ve not recently been exposed to gluten.  First customers for the tests are expected to be restaurant servers – who will administer them to whining, gluten-free customers to determine if they truly have Celiac disease or are simply obnoxious, trendy, jerk-off hipsters trying to impress their friends.

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The post Study Finds Sore Joints Aren’t Caused by Bad Weather appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Lawyer Claims $130K Stormy Daniels Payout His Money

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Michael-Cohen-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Michael-Cohen-102... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Lawyer Claims $130K Stormy Daniels Payout His Money:  President Donald Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen is now claiming that the $130,000 payout to adult film actress Stormy Daniels came from his own pocket.

 

No kidding?  Hell, I can’t even get lawyers to take my phone calls, let alone pay off hookers.  Must be nice.  But I suppose its all in a day’s work when you’re the lawyer for a stable genius and this $130K – is all part of Cohen’s plan for “Paying It Forward.”

 

Anyway, funny how after the check cleared, Ms Daniels seemed to quickly transition herself from “Stormy” to “partly cloudy.”  I mean, who knew weather patterns could change that quickly?

 

And isn’t it interesting how Trump seems to stiff everyone he’s ever dealt with except porn stars?  That’s probably because in order to stiff them, he’d need to swallow buckets full of Viagra.  And if Viagra was in fact involved, I guess that would mean Mr Trump has learned his lesson the hard way.

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The post Trump Lawyer Claims $130K Stormy Daniels Payout His Money appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks of Winter

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Groundhog-Day-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Groundhog-Day-102... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Groundhog-Day.jpg 1400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks of Winter:  The world’s most famous rodent – Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow and forecast six more weeks of winter.  In related news, a representative for Punxsutawney Phil announced he has just accepted a position as a weekend anchor on the Weather Channel.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Molecular-Buildin... 369w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Says Life’s Molecular Building Blocks Came From Space:  According to a new study, the “molecular building blocks” necessary for life here on Earth most likely originated in outerspace.  So if I’m correct on this, when your girlfriend tells you “I need my space,” what she’s really needs is more molecular building blocks.  Who could have guessed so many women were that into advanced biochemistry?

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Double-Chin.jpg 634w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Company Claims Drug Destroys Double Chins:  P Pharmaceutical giant Allergan is investing millions into an injectable, fat-destroying drug that it says will do away with double chins.  Analysts say that while the drug has shown promise, investors are still sticking their neck out on this.

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The post Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks of Winter appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Massive Storm Heading Toward Los Angeles Area

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Heavy-Rain-Storm-... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Heavy-Rain-Storm.... 800w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Massive Storm Heading Toward Los Angeles Area:  The National Weather Service is predicting a powerful rainstorm will hit the LA basin Monday and Tuesday, breaking an 11-month record drought.  The storm is expected to be so strong that some officials are urging people living in the outlying areas to consider skipping Monday and Tuesday and just moving on into Wednesday when the storm is expected to have already passed through the area.

 

Ocean Floor Sinking Under Water Weight From Melting Glaciers:  Scientists say so much extra water is being added into the world’s oceans from melting glaciers that the ocean floor is sinking underneath its increasing weight.  OK, but I guess first my question would be – exactly where is the ocean floor sinking to?  Personally, my concern is the ocean may be leaking out through the sea floor and then draining through another hole in the South Pole.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Clarksville-High-... 490w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Local Arkansas High School Arms Its Teachers:  The small Arkansas town of Clarksville has decided to give concealed weapons to 20 teachers and staff at its local high school.  Gee, and to think teachers used to scare the living crap out of us back when they were only carrying paddles.

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The post Massive Storm Heading Toward Los Angeles Area appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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