Sunday , 28 May 2017
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

Weight Loss

How Recent: 2 Months
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Trump Says Major, Major Conflict With N. Korea Possible

Trump Says Major, Major Conflict With N. Korea Possible:  President Trump is causing some concern after stating in a recent interview with Reuters, that “there is a chance that we could end up having a major, major conflict with North Korea.”  North Korea and Kim shouldn’t take it so personally.  If I know Trump, he’ll just launch a missile somewhere and wherever it lands, that’s who we fight – then, he’ll claim his North Korean war has much better ratings than WW II and Vietnam had.

 

Teens Drinking Cheap Hand Sanitizers to Get High:  The California Poison Control Center has received over 60 reports of teenagers ending up in emergency rooms after drinking “cheap liquid hand sanitizers” which contain 62 percent ethyl alcohol to get drunk.  I blame the parents.  Its their job to inform kids that if you must drink hand sanitizers, don’t go with the cheaper brands.

 

Extra Large Sized Caskets Selling Better Than Ever:  Casket makers are reporting a huge growth in sales of extra large caskets, calling it a dignified way for families of the obese to also find closure.  Makes sense.  I mean, how’s a family supposed to find closure when the deceased is so huge you can’t close the casket?

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Trump Says Major, Major Conflict With N. Korea Possible appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Cosmopolitan Now Pushing Cancer as a Diet Plan

Cosmopolitan Now Pushing Cancer as a Diet Plan:  Cosmopolitan magazine is infamous for their  click-bait headlines about women’s dieting tips, and in one of its signature pieces, they published a profile of a 31-year-old Australian woman who Cosmo claimed “lost 44 pounds without ANY exercise” – only, as it turns out – the reason she lost the weight was that she had cancer.  Hell, they may as well have added that if you go on this diet plan, it could be the last diet you’ll ever need.

 

Having Gray Hair Increases Men’s Risk of Heart Disease:  According to new research presented at European Society of Cardiology, men with grey hair face a significantly bigger risk of heart disease.  The study seemed pretty straightforward, but there were some gray areas.  In related news, sales of “Just for Men” has increased 70% since the study came out.

 

Sean Spicer Apologizes for Hitler – al-Assad Comparison:  White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer apologized after making his most astonishing blunder yet – favorably comparing Adolf Hitler with Bashar al-Assad at a White House briefing, claiming Adolf Hitler never used chemical weapons against civilians.  Wow, that Sean Spicer is really a gas!  I say the obvious solution is to fire Spicer immediately and replace him with Melissa McCarthy.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Cosmopolitan Now Pushing Cancer as a Diet Plan appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

American Airlines to Squeeze Seats Even Closer Together

American Airlines to Squeeze Seats Even Closer Together:  Just a day after airline executives went before lawmakers to defend their customer service, American Airlines confirmed it is once again shrinking the distance between seats in the economy section on new planes.

 

One thing’s for sure, this has to be a dream come true for everyone who’s always felt that there’s just “too damn much room between the seats whenever I fly coach.”  Its beginning to sound like these airlines won’t be happy until they remove all the seats.  I mean, at this point, why not just drop all pretenses and simply chain the passengers to the wall?  Hell, it’d probably be a lot more comfortable than trying to squeeze into one of those seats in coach.

 

When confronted about the issue, an American spokesperson told reporters to “just think of this as our contribution to the battle against obesity.”  American is claiming they are operating on a very thin profit margin, which I take to mean there’s not a whole lot of money to be made flying fat people around.  On the other hand, I’m sure lots of passengers are thinking “fat chance I’ll ever fly American again.”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post American Airlines to Squeeze Seats Even Closer Together appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular