Amazon to Buy Whole Foods Market: Amazon, the world’s most powerful online retailer, has taken a giant stride into traditional retailing, spending $13.7 billion to take over organic food chain Whole Foods Market. Rumor has it that the Whole Foods purchase was simply a mistake that occurred when Amazon CEO Jeff Bozos told his Amazon Echo “Alexia, I need to buy something at Whole Foods” and Alexia responds “yes, buying Whole Foods!” Talk about advancing the human condition, this merger means that one day soon, hipsters may be able get their kale delivered to them by drone.
People Injecting Themselves with Blood From Teens: In hot pursuit of the fountain of youth, the latest trend for those trying to look younger is getting blood plasma transfusions from teenage donors at the cost of $8,000 a pop. My question is, just where the hell are they going to get this done anyway – Transylvania?
Bear Attacks Elderly Bedridden Woman in New Mexico: New Mexico State wildlife officials say an 82-year-old bedridden woman suffered scratches on her face and head when a 400-pound black bear broke into her northern New Mexico home and attacked her. Officials say the attack doesn’t appear to be sexually motivated.
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