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Worldwide Horror as The Daily Skid Writers Have Day Off


People all around the world have responded in utter disgust at the news that today, the writers of The Daily Skid will have a day off and will not be writing an article.

68 days ago the very first article was published on, since then the two writers, Mr Phil Woods and Mr Steve Smith have not partaken in a single day of rest, working flat out for at least an hour a day to bring you articles of comedic entertainment. Today a landmark decision was made as they both decided to have a day off, leaving no-one to write anything. This means that you, the viewers, will not be able to submerse yourselves in any amount of titterment and mirth. It is so quiet in ‘Skid Towers’ today that even the mice are commenting that it’s as quiet as themselves.

So, on this day, to be known in the future as ‘Skidless Saturday’ we have taken the opportunity to speak with the people that matter in this shocking decision. Phil Woods, writer of such articles as ‘Large supermarket chain to stock generic false teeth‘ and ‘Turbans to become standard dress in Leicester schools‘ explained the reasoning, “Basically, I am tired of making people guffaw and chuckle. I only have a limited amount of ideas of comedianion worth, so my brain needs a day off. We have worked Sundays, God didn’t even work on the 7th day, he took a day off and that was OK (apart from Satan popping up to invent wasps and sprouts behind his back). I’ll be back on Sunday so I don’t know what all the fuss is about. If I don’t have a day off it could send me loopy. Sploged fengle sticks and crimsoned aubergine eggs.”

We also got chance to speak with Steve Smith whilst not writing this article. Steve, writer of such articles as ‘November to be renamed Yesvember to combat Britain’s negativity‘ and ‘NHS to tell obese: “Face it, you’re fat”‘ had this to say: “I’ve had enough and refuse to comment. I’ve worked my fingers to the bone to bring the world story after story – and do people care? Can they even be bothered to read them? Yes. But not today! Today they’ll look and find nothing. No news, no story, no comments, no tractor, nothing. A day off will do me some flamboyant good anyway. When I’ve written goose too much I start saying irrelevant pink words, so a day off now will ensure that Somalian doesn’t happen. Tart!”

So whilst there is no article this Saturday, why not search the archives to find articles that you haven’t read before. Perhaps consider buying Phil and Steve’s book (here), or downloading The Daily Skid mobile app for your iPhone, iPad, iPod, iWhatever else you may have or Android phone/tablet (here), or maybe watch some videographical entertainment by the writers (here). Make sure you don’t miss out, and we are sorry if this whole affair makes you blubber and cry. Phil and Steve will be back tomorrow with the Weekly News Round Up, so wipe off the frown and put on a smile.

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Phil Woods

Phil Woods

Funny is not THE's A word
Connahs Quay

Chevy Chase Enters Rehab for Alcohol Problem Tuneup

Chevy ChaseChevy Chase Enters Rehab for Alcohol Problem Tuneup:  Chevy Chase has checked into the rehab facility Hazelden Addiction Treatment Center in Minnesota for what his publicist referred to as a “tuneup” in his alcohol recovery.  Good for him!  Last time he rehabbed, he went to the Betty Ford Center.  Think about it folks – a Chevy going to a Ford Center?  No wonder the treatment didn’t take.


Boeing MissileBoeing Developing Missile That Wipes Out Everything Electrical:  Boeing is reportedly developing a missile that bombards everything under the ground with microwaves – taking out everything electrical – from your iPad to critical city power systems.  Of course here in LA, we already have something that routinely wipes out all our electricity – its called the Department of Water and Power.


BurglerMartha’s Vineyard Burglar Paints Dog Purple:  A Martha’s Vineyard man has been arrested – accused of a string of home break-ins, one of which cops say he painted a dog purple.  This guy sounds like a total idiot.  Doesn’t he know that after a burglary, you’re supposed to go out and “paint the town red,” not paint the dog purple!  In his defense, perhaps he thought the dog was a Vikings fan.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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