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Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California

Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California:  Ending years of speculation, Apple’s late entry into a crowded field was made official with the disclosure that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has awarded a permit for the company to start testing its self-driving car technology on public roads in the state.

 

Of course knowing Apple, you still won’t be able to actually use the car until you’ve read and agreed to the 380-page user agreement.  All I can say is – we’d better hope they’re not planning on using Apple Maps for directions.  It’s 2017 and Siri still tries to send me across the Atlantic when I’m just trying to get to the market down the street.

 

I’m still trying to imagine a conversation between Siri and a state trooper if the car ever gets pulled over.  Hell, Siri’ll be likely if it doesn’t get tasered.  And it would be my luck the car would stop moving just as soon as a phone call comes in.  Or you get an error message like this:  ”Recommended software update 2.0.3 – fixes a problem where windshield wipers activate instead of brakes being applied under certain road conditions.”  And of course, the big question is, would an Apple Car have Windows?

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The post Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Solar Storms Remove Electrons From Earth’s Atmosphere

Solar Storms Remove Electrons From Earth’s Atmosphere:  New research found that, contrary to scientific expectations, solar storms actually remove electrons from the Earth’s atmosphere.  Even so, I still try and stay positive about solar storms.

 

Study Finds Smartphones Impacted by Bitter Cold:  Experts say that when the temperature drops below freezing, smartphones often start malfunctioning, such as they might not sense your touch, the battery can die faster and if it’s cold enough, the phone just shuts off.  Smartphones malfunction when exposed to bitter cold?  Guess that pretty much explains why my ex has had so many problems with her iPhone!

 

Japan Claims North Korea Fired Four Ballistic Missiles:  Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe says North Korea has fired four ballistic missiles, three of which landed in Japan’s Exclusive Economic Zone.  Military analysts say those weren’t missiles in the traditional sense, but simply four more of Kim Jong Un’s relatives who had the misfortune of falling out of favor.

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The post Solar Storms Remove Electrons From Earth’s Atmosphere appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

SpaceX Says Two People Already Paid Up for Future Moon Mission

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Mission-to-Moon-3... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Mission-to-Moon.jpg 512w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />SpaceX Says Two People Already Paid Up for Future Moon Mission:  SpaceX CEO Elon Musk just revealed that two people have paid for a private mission around the moon in the company’s as yet untested Falcon Heavy rocket.  A spokesperson for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is denying that its them who’s paying for Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty to make the trip.

 

Oscars Post Wrong Pic in Memorial Tribute:  During the “In Memoriam” tribute to industry artists who passed away during the past year, the death of an Australian costume designer Janet Patterson was noted, but the picture posted onscreen was really that of a very much alive Australian film producer Jan Chapman.  An Oscar telecast spokesperson explained the mistake by pointing out that while producer Jan Chapman didn’t actually pass away in 2016, she did pass a lot of gas during the year.

 

Chicken at Subway Contains Only 50% Chicken DNA:  Researchers say new tests show the chicken meat served at Subway restaurants contain only about 50 percent chicken DNA, with scientists reporting they are not yet certain what the other contents may be – possibly tofu.  Well, they do say chickens are descended from the dinosaurs, so my guess is its tyrannosaurs.  Meanwhile, a spokesperson for evangelist Franklin Graham claims its all a conspiracy to replace chicken with tofu in a sinister attempt to turn all of America gay!

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The post SpaceX Says Two People Already Paid Up for Future Moon Mission appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

New iPhones to Map Faces for Authentication and 3-D

New iPhones to Map Faces for Authentication and 3-D:  Apple is rumored be working on a controversial new camera designed to map your face in 3-D for the purpose of facial recognition.  Yea – and good luck with that!  Hell, as it is, Siri suddenly turns into Helen Keller almost every time I ask it something.  And what’s with the 3-D pics anyway?  Do they think our current, regular selfies aren’t narcissistic enough?

 

More People Getting News From the Web:  Last year, for the first time in history, more people reported getting their news from the internet than from a physical newspaper.  All I can say is, let’s hope this doesn’t mean people are gonna start spanking their misbehaving dogs with their computers now instead of a newspaper.

 

Police OK With Russian Teen Auctioning Virginity:  An 18-year-old Russian teenager who successfully sold her virginity to the highest bidder ($37,000) through an online auction site has been given the go-ahead by police to seal the deal.  So I suppose that means if you’re ever stopped by the cops for being with a hooker, you can just tell them “oh, this is just a little something I picked up at the auction.”

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The post New iPhones to Map Faces for Authentication and 3-D appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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